In past articles I laid out some of the logistics of how you should handle the first date. There are also good tips in my book The Lothario Upper Hand.

The most important part of doing a first date right is your ATTITUDE. Not just your attitude towards the girl, but your attitude towards your entire role in the process.

Fun, Fun, Fun

As a player, fun is always your number one goal with women. Not power, not marriage, not getting a girlfriend, just FUN. Because if you can’t have fun with a woman, then she will simply be a useless and toxic addition to your life – no matter how hot she is.

Therefore, your goal for the first date should be having fun. Not necessarily showing HER a good time (players don’t jump through hoops) but making sure YOU have a good time.

Plan the first date with yourself in mind. There is no reason to plan based on what she wants because you don’t really know her enough for it to matter. If she wants to control the date, let HER ask you out and pay for it. Right?

Pick a place YOU want to go and an activity YOU want to do. If she suggests something else, only agree if it sounds like something YOU would enjoy. You should also talk about things YOU care about and ask her questions that will give YOU useful information about her.

Remember men: The pick-up is all about the girl. The first date is all about YOU.

When a woman likes you and gives you her number, she has agreed to enter your world. If she refuses, then she only gave you her number to get rid of you or for shallow male attention. Interested women always submit. Always, always, always.

Sex, Kiss or Leave?

Many men worry about the ending of the first date because they (again) focus mostly on the desires and expectations of the woman over their own. Players don’t go on multiple dates with cold fish. You must end the first date with some level of physicality.

The first rule is FUN. You must enjoy this girl’s company and like the things that come out of her mouth. If she turns you off with her behavior and isn’t fun to be around, cut the date short, only pay for your own share and invite her to your place immediately (so you can sleep with her). If you can’t enjoy her company, it’s time to just bang her and move on. If you can’t bang her, then end the date and move on to the next girl.

If the girl is fun, respectful, and flirtatious, then grab her ass. This will reveal the type of woman she is. You learn more about women by putting them in certain situations than you do by asking them questions. If she enjoys the ass grab, she is sexual and you should escalate. Continue to be physical with her. Then end the date with sex.

In the case where you grab her ass and she says: “Stooop..” in a quiet whiny voice, that means she might like you but she isn’t that easy. Girls like this might be worth keeping around if they’re run. Most likely she is a “good girl” which I talk about in The Lothario Upper Hand. However, if she starts playing games she might be a tease or attention whore. In which case, drop her fast.

End all first dates by going in for a kiss. If you get the cheek, it means she views you as a beta male. Either someone she wants to observe/exploit longer or someone she will eventually friend zone. The truth about women is, they aren’t afraid to get physical with men whom they have a strong attraction to. Women believe “love happens fast”. I’ve gotten blow jobs from virgins for example. If a woman is against “sex on the first date” but still has a strong attraction, she WILL let you kiss her on the lips and touch her body. Otherwise she is playing a game that may or may not lead to sex. Remember, its 2013.

Finally, a girl who doesn’t like you at all will insult you, end the date or curse at you for grabbing her ass. This is also your cue to walk away and delete her number. Never apologize by the way. She either has NO attraction to you at all or she is an extreme feminist / bitch.

Most men handle rejection from women terribly and take it very personal. Even initial rejections when asking for a woman’s phone number is enough to depress some men.

Keep Your Dignity

A player never grovels. If you get dumped you should simply accept it and even support it. I’ve said several times in this blog that it’s best to leave first when you see things slipping. However, leaving first is not always possible. Some women will drop you without showing any prior signs of slipping interest level. If a woman dumps you, no matter what the method she uses, make sure you don’t engage in any of the following weak behavior:

-Asking for an explanation
-Agreeing to talk about it
-Arguing
-Trying to change her mind
-Insulting or cursing at her
-Crying
-Groveling
-Agreeing to be “friends”

Lay Down The Law

While you can’t keep a woman from leaving.. you CAN still control how you deal with it. Many guys allow a woman to dump them, then continue to be in that woman’s life in hopes of getting back together. Ironically, this is likely the reason she dumped him in the first place – she figured out that she can have a relationship with him without banging him. So why bother?

When men stay in a woman’s life after getting dumped, they are flushing away their last scrap of control in that relationship. YES, you still have some power after she dumps you. You have the power to “finish the relationship off”. After all, women like happy endings where everyone is still friends. You have the power to deny her this. However, this is not the main reason for avoiding her after a break up. The real reason you should walk away is because you must ALWAYS live on your own terms as a player. Being with a woman you want to bang but can’t is not living on your terms.. its living on HER terms.

This is a golden rule for being a true player: A WOMAN ONLY GETS ONE CHANCE PER LIFETIME TO DUMP YOU.

No man should ever give a woman a second chance to dump him. NEVER.

This is why you should say the following words to any woman who breaks up with you:

“If you leave, don’t come back”.

Those six words will hunt her long after the relationship has ended. They completely rob her of any power to manipulate or play games post-break-up. She can NEVER come back. This will not sit well with her. Most passive men see this as too “mean”. They are still looking out for a woman who is basically telling him he isn’t good enough for her and she can do better. If she can do better, why should you be her fall back in case she finds out later that she CAN’T do better? And believe me.. this happens often. That’s why the best thing you can say to a woman who dumps you is: “Don’t come back”.

A woman only gets ONE chance to dump a player.

The reason people have inhibitions is because they’re outcome dependent. They worry how their actions today will affect them tomorrow. With women, a player isn’t worried about tomorrow because a player is not trying to “keep” a woman. He is there to enjoy her for as long as he can. Then move on.

Yesterday Is Gone

When it comes to established relationships, a lot of men get into trouble worrying about the past. They stay in toxic relationships because of some romantic memory they have of their girlfriend before she became a raging bitch. I wrote earlier about how emotional investment happens. Men keep viewing a woman based on how she was during the honeymoon stage of the relationship. You know…when she was trying to impress him. When she gets comfortable and turns on the bitchiness, he blames himself for her bad behavior. In a way it IS his fault. But not in the way he thinks. It’s his fault for allowing her to get comfortable. It’s not his fault she is a miserable toxic person.

It seems men make this mistake more often than women. I always say this because the majority of relationships are ended by the woman and not the man. This means women focus more on the present situation while men focus more on the “good times” from the PAST that are long gone and never returning.

As a man, you need to learn to judge women by their MOST RECENT BEHAVIOR. If she is acting like a bitch in 2013, it doesn’t matter if she was an angel in 2011 and couldn’t’ get enough sex from you in 2012. That was then and today is NOW. Live in the present!

You Have Legs So Use Them!

The most powerful weapon you have as a man is your ability to walk away. The reason it’s so powerful is because so few men do it. It just shows how horrible a woman has to be to shake a man without dumping him. Again, this is why players and alphas are the “heartbreakers” of the world. They are not afraid to walk away when they’re not happy. They ALWAYS put their own happiness first.

Beta males almost never abandon women so it’s easy for them to end up in abusive relationships with women who don’t respect them. They complain forever, drink their stress away and get into bar fights from the frustration their “woman problems” are causing them. They’ll do anything but LEAVE.

As a player, you should be the first to leave since you had no intention of staying. This is where your power comes from. You’re elusive and impossible to catch. Women’s imaginations run wild after meeting a true player. Their insecurity peaks when they are in the presence of a player. They can’t resist the danger. It makes them feel alive and excited.

If a player is painfully spicy and delicious food; a “nice guy” is bland white rice. Be the spice, not the rice!

A man with ridged terms and values that are carved in stone will always pass 100% of a woman’s “shit tests” because HE IS PLAYING HIS OWN GAME. What does this mean?

No Apologies

To be a true player, you have to have a frame of mind where a woman’s opinion of you is meaningless until she earns your respect. In order to earn your respect she must prove she has the strength to submit to a man. You see, while submitting to a man is a woman’s natural role, modern society has made this “unpopular” through feminism. Women are praised for being “independent, financially successful, career oriented and free from the need for male approval”. This is a very toxic lifestyle for a woman since it goes against her very nature.

Most women who take feminism to the extreme live shallow, miserable and bitter lives; even when they achieve worldly success. They are like cats trying to be dogs. The male version of this with “nice guys” has the same result. This is where the term AFC came from. Men who go against their nature as MEN and passively submit to the weaker sex rarely find happiness in relationships with women. A man ruled by a woman will never truly feel like a MAN because he won’t be. He will remain a child ruled by a mother.

A man must make NO APOLOGIES for his expectations and desires. Too many men are easily shamed by getting a rude, disgusted or nasty response from a woman. They are easily hurt by rejection and disapproval from women. The typical man can’t stand the idea of a woman being mad at him. He fears she will cut off the sex or lose interest in him. This is pathetic.  He is PLAYING HER GAME.

Who Is More Important?

This is where most men lose the power struggle. They make the woman’s happiness more important than their own.

When they meet new women, they are so focused on getting in her pants that they fail to lay down any ground rules. Again, his only terms are usually “look good and spread your legs”. Women already know men want sex from them, but if they sense weakness in a man, they’ll have no problem exploiting this desire for their own benefit.

This is where jumping through hoops comes in. Her attitude right out of the gate is “if you want this, WORK for it”. YET, the man doesn’t know exactly what he is working for. It’s like trying to buy a car you haven’t test driven and offering money with no guarantee of ever obtaining the car. Unless this car belonged to Michael Jordon and is being offered ridiculously cheap, what fool would enter such a crappy deal? Sadly, the majority of modern men would.

Here is the deal: Any time you do things you DON’T AGREE WITH for the sake of pleasing a woman, you are playing HER game and giving HER all the control. As a player, this is a fatal mistake. Playing a woman’s game leads to exploitation and being placed in the friend zone. It’s never a wise move.

The Solution

As simple as the solution is, most men don’t have the frame of mind or guts to do it.  As a man you should decide what you believe is fair treatment for a woman you want to bang and refuse to deviate from that EVER. No matter how mad she gets. No matter how much she screams, goes cold, threatens you or cuts off sex. A player can replace any woman, so why would he need to “change his approach” just for one? PLAY YOUR OWN GAME.

If you believe meeting a woman for happy hour after work and taking her home to have sex is all you need to do.. then that is all you should ever do. Never go on a second or third date because SHE wants to “wait” or “isn’t ready”. When you give into these requests you are basically communicating to her: “I value your happiness over my own”. Sounds sweet doesn’t it? Right out of a Disney movie right? That’s exactly why it’s a bad move. When you do this, you are automatically placed in the “beta male” category at best and the “chump” category at worst. You are cheap and easy. The woman knows she is in control. You have lost your upper hand before you even got it. Now you will be forced to jump through endless hoops for sex.

The secret to fast sex that alpha males and players have always known is : PLAY YOUR OWN GAME. Even sluts will avoid men they perceive as weak and desperate for sex. The big trick that most men miss is the proper TACTIC. A smart man will play a woman’s game with his WORDS while playing his own game with his ACTIONS. Otherwise, a woman fails to see how she can profit from sleeping with him. She must always believe she has something to gain, even if she doesn’t.

As a man, always have the balls to walk away from a woman who doesn’t behave how YOU believe she should. Live as you please 24/7 and refuse to cater to any woman who won’t let you take the lead. If a woman refuses to go along with your game, then she is not that into you. It’s much better and time/cost effective to let a difficult women go than to play HER game in order to win her over.

You can be a player or you can be a beta. Your choice men.

The Logic Beyond 7

Why did I pick 7? Well, overall the number is based on my estimations about trial and error in a woman’s life, plus the maximum number of serious boyfriends she can pack into her youth.

Generally, non-slutty women pick men very carefully and usually commit to them for long periods of time (years). A typical non-slut probably has about two or three serious boyfriends before getting married. They have a long and careful screening process for men and don’t just jump on cocks after some sweet talking.

So you have to figure, by age 30 if she has had three serious boyfriends, plus about one or two men she slept with in her teens when she experienced her “first love” and first drunken rape in college. Then you add two more men who were “rebounds” to help her get over her first 2 serious boyfriends… that is about 7 men total. The 7th man should be her husband.

After 7 men she becomes a slut because she either:

1.    Doesn’t screen men very much before banging them
2.    Cheats on her boyfriends
3.    Cannot enslave a man with her personality, so she gives up sex fast

By age 30 a woman should be on or below number 7.  If she can’t make it work with the 7th man she has slept with, then she has a personality problem or a screening problem. She should really be married by her 3rd bang if not earlier. I’m being generous with 7 because cultural expectations have changed.

Now I’m not saying sluts are “bad”. In fact, I love them. Without sluts a player would rarely get laid. It’s just that sluts have a purpose and that purpose in NOT relationships.

Why Sluts Never Change

It’s a classic question: Can you turn a hoe into a housewife? The answer is NO and I’ll even go so far to say NEVER. Once a slut always a slut. As a man you should never attempt to have any kind of serious relationship with a slut. She is a strictly a sex toy. Are their exceptions? Probably.. but why take a chance with a woman who has seen more sausage than a deli?

Why don’t sluts change? It all comes down to the female mating strategy and a woman’s ability to bond. Unlike men, women are not mentally or emotionally designed for a life of casual sex. They are not designed to “spread their seed” like men are. Before birth control, any woman who engaged in casual sex would end up having kids with multiple men and more kids than she can support. Therefore, it was unwise for women to be “slutty”.

All women start out with the goal to find one good man and reproduce with him. It’s not even natural for her to want kids with different men because of the dangers. Men are not wired to be very accepting of another man’s kids. That would be an attack on his sexual value and his pride. Therefore, women typically look for ONE good man. If they reproduce with another man, they do everything in their power to keep those men in the dark about it (even today).

The biggest sluts started out with the same goal as the “good girls”. Only the good girls have the seduction skills, charm and attractiveness to enslave the man of her choice. Sluts usually lack one or all of those qualities… thus forcing them to overcompensate by lowing the price of sex. They know they can’t keep a man’s attention with their personality and looks alone so they offer sex in hopes of keeping the man around. Sometimes they even try to get pregnant. This is their logic.

It makes sense from the female point of view. What screws them is the male point of view. A man who gets sex too easily from a particular woman will assume ANY man can get sex easily from her. He won’t see her value so he won’t allow himself to be enslaved by her.  He can’t really trust her after all. Easy come.. easy go. Right?

Over time, this strategy causes a high cock-count for the slut. Before she knows it she has banged 20 men in her search for “love”. She doesn’t change her approach because the original approach of “holding out” has simply never worked for her. Sex is the only way for her to get steady attention from men.

The other problem with the slut is her high cock-count creates crippling insecurity. She believes every man will eventually abandon her and overtime she develops a fear of intimacy. Any man who gets “too close” freaks her out and makes her sabotage the relationship by cheating or dumping him. In short, the slut LOSES HER ABILITY TO BOND WITH A MAN OR TRUST A MAN.

Conclusion

Since women’s lives revolve around relationships, women cannot suffer failure in their love lives too many times before developing extremely low self-esteem. This is why you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife (if you didn’t already know why). After a woman loses her ability to bond with a man, she becomes a sex toy for life. Even in old age, any long term sexual relationship with her will be toxic because of her low self-esteem, insecurity and trust issues.

I’ve said this before and implied it a million times: No men do better with women than players and alpha males. But being an alpha male has a high price and I’ve already pointed out the down side. Players and womanizers excel because they are almost impossible for women to seduce. It’s really that simple.

The Easily Seduced Man Pays Big

Beta males and “nice guys” are easily seduced by women. This makes them easy targets for exploitation, friend zoning, and playing cannon fodder. Most nice guys and beta males come out of relationships with women emotionally damaged.

Women use seduction and sex to control men. Sex can only control men if some level of seduction takes place. Otherwise, every man would simply go after the easiest woman. The woman must charm the man then hold sex over his head. Players don’t fall for “charm” because they are charmers themselves. They don’t have the fairy tale dream in their head of women as “beautiful blameless princesses”. Players see women as they really are: horny, opportunistic, and manipulative (but lots of fun). The average nice guy or Beta simply can’t get this reality through his thick skull.

The result is women are less sexually attracted to beta males, BUT they find them more “useful” overall for emotional support, raising kids and of course BUYING SHIT. It’s the beta male that women see as a walking credit card and psychiatrist. He is the “keeper” who will be her willing slave for life at his own expense. His reward for this is sex at calculated times. This sex becomes less frequent as the relationship continues. Why? Because while women love a slave, they don’t respect one. The more a woman’s respect for a man degrades, the more she will find him sexually repulsive.

In short, the beta pays a HIGH price for what alphas and players get for FREE (and usually first). Think long and hard about that sentence until it sinks in.

The Difficult Man Wins

Players and alphas are very difficult men for women to deal with. This is part of what makes them so attractive: They make women WORK. This type of man creates a natural challenge for any woman who meets him.

Women like to believe that once they have a man’s sexual interest, they have some degree of control over that man. If this man has many sexual options, the woman will only work harder to make herself stand out. Most women can’t bare the idea that they are unattractive, especially to a man with many options. This is one reason the classic “talk to the ugly friend” trick works so well on women in groups. When you target the ugly girl in the group, it threatens the ego of the most attractive one.

Just like men love having sex with women, women love having power over men. The harder this power is to achieve, the more desirable the man. A man who can be enslaved by almost any woman doesn’t make a woman’s vagina tingle because she doesn’t feel special. I’ve discussed the female ego before. A woman’s ego is massive and a big part of her self-esteem comes from the control she has over men. A woman is not content if this control only comes from her looks (as it does with most beta males and nice guys). She is fully aware that her looks will fade one day. She needs to know she can control a man with her personality as well (seduction). Therefore, if she can attract a man with her looks, yet fails at enslaving him, it damages her ego.

This is why alpha males and players are the “heartbreakers” of the male gender. Not because they are bad people, but because they value their freedom more than they value women. This is something women can never understand, so they set out to enslave these men. When they fail, they become bitter and emotionally damaged. They end up settling for a beta male or “nice guy” who they can enslave easily, but they never really respect him. They control and abuse the beta male and in the worst cases, divorce him… taking his kids and money away from him. This is often punishment for not being her “dream man” and for all her past heartbreaks.

Conclusion

Players and alphas get the meat when it’s fresh. Once it starts getting stale they replace it with fresher meat. Beta males happily accept stale meat and in some cases rotten meat. Then they get upset when the meat makes them sick.

Player’s and alphas know meat has a shelf-life. It is only good for so long before you have to throw it away (read Relationship Material for clarification on female hypergamy). The beta male does not understand the “shelf life” concept. He will buy meat and keep it for years, believing its “good” no matter what. He believes “meat is meat”. He pays a high price for this belief.

Easier Access

In the majority of situations where you meet new women, you’re going to have to game them for a little while before banging them. This is because night game is generally more difficult than day game and day game rarely leads to sex the same day (but it can).

Bars and clubs have girls in groups with cock-blocking friends and other men on the hunt who you’ll have to out-game. House parties have similar problems, unless you live at the house. The hotel bar is more likely to have a relaxed environment where a woman is alone or with only one friend.

Most importantly, being from “out of town” means she is less likely to play games. She knows anyone she meets will likely never cross paths with her again. Therefore, she will have a lower guard and fewer reservations about banging a random guy.

You Can Be Whoever You Want

A woman from out of town will probably never see you again. This means there are no limits to the level of game you can use. You can claim to be just about anyone you want. You can claim to have any occupation, name, hobby, connections, etc. How the hell will she ever know?

You can get away with lines like: “I can fly you out to California next week to see Johnny Depp in person”. Anything goes when you will never cross paths again. This is what I’m talking about with short term game vs. long term game. When seeking a relationship, you have to be more honest, which can lead to having to “settle” for less attractive women. When you have a “bang and run” player approach, you’re free to use any story or gaming tactic you wish with no real fear of damaging your reputation.

It’s Crazy Easy

Often these women (especially if traveling alone) are at the bar because they WANT to get banged, so most of the work is often done for you before you even approach. If you have good game in normal situations, hotel bar game should feel like shooting fish in a barrel.

As a player, you’ll just need to use your typical “slut game” only more classy. Hotels have a pretentious feel by nature, so it’s best to go with it. Don’t sit at the bar looking like you just came from a construction site. Dress well, smell good and seem educated. The rest should be easy.

From Bar To Bed

When using hotel bars to meet women for quick sex, its best you make it clear you are “only in town for the night”. Doesn’t matter if you live across the street from the hotel, you should tell your target you are catching a flight back home the next day. After giving her this information, proceed to flirt. If she responds well to your flirting, she is most likely looking to get pounded soon.

Ask her what she does for a living before telling her what you do. You don’t want to say: “I’m a lawyer” and hear her say: “Me too!!” Make sure you find out her job so you can pick a HIGHER status job that is different.

Since you’re not really staying at the hotel, you obviously won’t have a room there. Therefore, the only way to bang her is in her room. The best way to deal with this is to play her like a true player (what else would you do?). After taking a STRONG shot with her at the bar, invite her upstairs. At this point you should already be getting touchy-feeling with her and flirting hard. Pick a random floor in the elevator and say out loud:

“I’m on the [insert floor] which floor are you on?”

The reason you do this is to make sure she doesn’t say “meet too!”. If she says “Me too!” then immediately ask her which room. You’ll see why in a minute.

Now once you get off at this random floor, walk to a random door and start digging for your room key. Obviously you won’t have one because you’re not staying at the damn hotel. Now you say:

“Shit! I dropped my room key somewhere. Let’s just go to your room.”

If she is horny, a little drunk and ready to get railed (as she should be) there is NO reasons she would object to this. After all, she wants you inside her ASAP. No time to go downstairs and get a new key!

Proceed to her room and enjoy yourself.

Some Fast Tips

If you make hotel bar game a normal part of your pick-up schedule, make sure you don’t go to the same hotel several times a week. The staff will eventually notice you and realize what you’re up too. It’s best to allow at least a week to pass before going back to the same hotel. If you live in a large city (as I do) this should be easy.

Dress business casual so you look like you belong there and no one gets suspicious. Bring a business magazine or newspaper to look like you have “business” to do.

Don’t waste your time waiting around. If you sit at the bar just waiting for an attractive woman to show up, you’ll be bored out of your mind. Make sure you are actually in the mood for a drink or two and maybe a bar snack. Watch a little TV (most bars have them) and relax. If no women show up after 30-45 minutes, chat with the bartender and ask (if its a man) how often  attractive women generally frequent that hotel. Take note and return to the hotel in a week or two.

If the bartender is an ATTRACTIVE woman, game her. Say you are there because a friend recommended something on the menu. Tell her you live in town and ask for her number.

The average modern man wants a “relationship” more than the average modern woman these days (it seems). A lot of this is societal brain washing and female propaganda.  The media tries to scare men into believing they NEED a woman to be complete. This is one reason why men these days are often more devastated by a break-up than women. They have lost their “other half” (or so they believe). It’s a truly pathetic state of affairs.

How a Player Does “Relationships”

The media brainwashes men into desiring family and relationships above all else, while brainwashing women to desire money and status above all else. It’s no mistake. Remember that women are the biggest consumers of media and the biggest spenders (of both their own money and men’s money). Also, remember the golden rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules. If the media needs to promote the female agenda to make money, that’s exactly what it will do. Angry women are a bigger liability to a business than angry men.

Most men are too ignorant to realize the media is tailored towards women and girls, so they buy right into the brainwashing. This only makes it easier for women to use psychological fear to manipulate men in relationships. It all comes full circle.

As a player, you will still engage in relationships with women outside of casual sex. After all, finding a brand new woman to bang every time you crave sex can be exhausting and often unsuccessful. You will sometimes find yourself “bonding” with women and forming a “relationship” with them. And YES.. you can be in a relationship and keep your player status at the same time, provided you don’t commit 100%. You can read the reasons why no man should ever commit 100% here.

If you’re a man who prefers relationships over constantly banging new women, you’re going to need a good system for knowing which women are good for relationships. What makes a woman relationship material vs. just a sex toy? It’s all about deal breakers:

What Are Deal Breakers?

For a woman to be relationship material she needs to be capable of bonding with you on a deeper level than sex and superficial gain. This will only happen if you have the following things in common:

-The same values
-The same goals (financial, family, lifestyle, etc.)
-The same world view

In order for true bonding to take place, you both have to be on the same page and have common ground on those three issues. If you don’t have common ground on these issues then it’s best to stick to sex and keep your emotional distance indefinitely or until you have a good reason to do otherwise.

Now you might say: “But Rico, if I find a woman who I can bond with on those three key issues, why not marry her and commit to her 100%?”

The answer to that question is very short and simple: Because women are hypergamous. This means, women change constantly over time. Yes constantly. I discussed this in depth here.

A woman is basically a different person with different values every decade until menopause (as far as romantic relationships go). Sure, her outer personality might not change much, but what she expects and desires in a man will. What she needs from a man in her 20’s will be different from what she needs from a man in her 30’s and so on (it even changes from early 20’s to late 20’s and early 30’s to late 30’s). For this reason, no woman is worthy of total commitment and a man should expect any woman who is relationship material to only be so for about 5 years tops.

Now you might say: “But Rico, what about those couples who stay married for decades?”

The answer to that question is very simple: Insecurity (usually on the part of the man). These are usually relationships with deep emotional investment on the part of the man where he has too much to lose by leaving. The woman stays because she is mostly free to behave as she pleases, while enjoying the benefits of the best man she can attract. Her man is her slave. A good slave is hard to find.

Now you might say: “But Rico, why can’t it be the other way around? Why can’t the woman be the slave?”

The answer to that question is simple: Men by nature want variety and are not satisfied with just one woman. Men are not as relationship oriented as women are.  A man will get bored with a female slave and eventually crave variety. This is why kings had 20 wives. A man will move on to younger, more attractive women if he can. Men only commit emotionally when they are insecure (aka SLAVES).

Therefore, the man who makes family and marriage his ultimate goal in life is destined to fall into traps and spend his life as a slave in some form. He will gladly play the cannon fodder role for women at his own expense (after all.. women are his only reason for breathing).

The Stronger Sex

As a man, you are still supposed to be the dominant one in the context of a sexual relationship. You are the leader, boss and superior.

Now picture an old school king with 20 wives. Can you imagine a man of such high status lowering himself to argue with one of his wives over.. well.. ANYTHING? If any of his wives dared to defy him or get “uppity” he would simply have her banished or beheaded. To argue with her would be to stoop to her lower level. A king ain’t got time for dat!

As a player you are in the modern version of the same situation. You have lots of women in your life that you bang. They exist for your pleasure and entertainment. If one of them starts becoming difficult, you simply shift your attention to one who is more pleasant and ignore the difficult one. Only desperate beta males waste their energy arguing with women.

Women Don’t Argue To Influence You

Most of the time women argue with men it’s a power move. They know (or assume) they can always “win the argument” simply by cutting off sex. Women use arguments to test a man’s dominance. She knows that she has dominace over any man who would lower himself enough to argue with her. Women instinctively KNOW that alpha males and men who are “better than them” don’t engage in petty back and forth fights for more than a few seconds.

So in a woman’s mind, if you are willing to argue with her, then she has power over you and is probably your equal or superior. Got it?

The Player Response

Here are some sample arguments women might try to start with you and the player / alpha response you should give:

HER: “Why are you always hanging out with your friends! You don’t spend enough time with me.”

YOU: “It’s not all about you babe. Don’t be high maintenance.”

HER: “You need to clean this place up! Why are you so lazy?”

YOU: “I pay the rent. Never tell me what to do”

HER: “You never listen when I talk!”

YOU: “What does that say about your learning curve if you keep talking anyway?”

HER: “I don’t like you having female friends. Why do you have to flirt with everything with a pulse?”

YOU: “If I wanted those girls I would be with them. Don’t bring this up again.”

HER: “Where have you been? Why did you ignore all my calls and texts??!!”

YOU: “I got tied up. Watch your tone.”  

HER: “I don’t like being treated like a whore. If you won’t commit then I can’t do this anymore.”

YOU: “I don’t have a gun to your head. You know where I stand.”

These responses probably seem harsh or mean. However, this is how a man who is “better than his woman” behaves. If you walk on eggshells, that means your woman is above you. It’s really that simple.

When these fights come up with women in your life, its best to keep your cool and refuse to let her drag you into her emotional tantrum. I give a real life example in my book The Lothario Upper Hand. Don’t lower yourself. Don’t go back and forth with her more than twice. Let her make her first attack. Respond to it. Let her make her second attack. Respond to it. If she continues rambling after that, tell her the conversation is over and she is wrong. That’s it.

Also, keep in mind that arguments are different from “discussions”. Having a discussion is fine. Once it gets heated and emotional it’s time to shut it down. Refuse to deal with a woman who does not behave in a civilized manner. Women should behave in a respectful, ladylike way with the man she is sleeping with. If she is unable to do that, she is not worthy of that man’s respect.

Men who continue to treat disrespectful women with respect are the men who get walked on. Always think of the king with 20 wives.

“Are you going to buy me a drink?”

“It’s the man’s job to call”

“I deserve to be treated like a lady”

“I believe in chivalry”

There are many women who will boldly say these things to your face. Almost like a master/slave relationship. She can tell you what she wants and expects, but if you do the same most women will balk or argue. Funny how that works right?

The reason women can get away with all these “demands” is because most men today are desperate. They don’t discriminate when it comes to who they try to bang outside of looks. Whatever it takes to enter a woman’s hairy hole is what a man will do. No price too large. It’s the simple law of supply and demand. We can’t really blame the women entirely (even though many men do).

To put things in perspective.. just think about how much effort it takes woman to have sex with a man. All she has to do is lie on her back and open her legs. This is not difficult at all. In fact, it’s so easy that women should be willing to do it for no more than a compliment. But since finding a willing man is so easy, there is no reason for a woman to just hop on every cock she sees unless she stands to gain from it.

Learn To Discriminate

As a player, it’s your job to convince a woman that she has something to gain by opening her legs for you. This is accomplished by digging to find out what kind of woman you are dealing with. Once you have an idea, you can usually guess what she’s seeking in exchange for sex:

Gold digger = Money / Kids
Virgin = Deep emotional bond (usually)
Slut = Great sex (with someone sexy)
Single Mother = Support (and sometimes a father figure for their kid)
Whore = A relationship that provides connections, resources, status, bragging rights, etc.
Prude = Marriage

You get the idea. Obviously you won’t be able to sleep with ANY woman you want just because you have player skills. Generally, sluts and whores are your best bet for fast sex. A good player knows how to locate them and identify them fast.

This is another player secret many men are not aware of: Good “game” is less about being attractive to ALL women and more about being attractive to a target market of women. If sluts are your target, your entire image and game should be designed to attract them. Other men will see you getting laid like crazy and think women love you. But in reality, you just know how to identify and attract that “target market” of women very well. So you have a high success rate.

Most normal men don’t operate this way. Instead, they have an idea in their head of the type of woman they want to be with and they project those qualities onto ANY woman they find attractive. Then they put all their energy into banging that woman while ignoring who that woman really is. They often end up wasting their time on a woman who will never bang them (a prude for instance).

It’s very important to know what type of woman she is so you’ll know if your game will even work on her. Slut game will not work on a Gold digger. Virgin game will not work on a slut. Get the picture?

Remember that every woman you meet WANTS something. Make sure your game is designed to make her believe you have what she is seeking (even if you don’t).

I talk more about types of women and knowing your target in my book The Lothario Upper Hand.

A lot of the frustration and confusion many men face in the dating realm today is the result of ignorance. Most men are still playing by outdated rules from the 1970’s. Buying flowers for a woman has to be one of the most obvious examples of the clueless state of modern men. Desperation these days is off the charts because many men feel powerless and confused about women.

Why The Confusion?

Men are confused because of their basic nature. Men generally like to follow rules and “stand for something”. This is why men make such great workhorses for society (and women). They have a natural desire to be useful and to accomplish things (even if it’s just winning a video game).

Men know that in order to win at something, they need to follow the rules and perform well. In order for men to follow the rules, they must know the rules. Women figured this out a while back and realized they can have more control over the dating game by simply refusing to show men the “rule book” on how to attract them. This is why (like I said in The Female Dating Advantage ) women will never give you the map to their vagina.

100 years ago, the rules were easy. Men simply dominated women so there wasn’t much to “learn”. In the age of equality, things are tricky and many men don’t really know how to act with women. Confused, they just do what their fathers did or what they see in movies and assume that’s the “rule”. Unfortunately, they are often WRONG.

Each Woman Makes Her Own “Rules”

In 2013, each individual woman makes her own rules about how men should behave. They basically treat dating like a Chinese menu and make the situation “all about them”. So you basically have a situation where men are still following “traditions” and gender roles while most women have totally abandoned female behavioral traditions. When only one side “plays by the rules”, the side breaking the rules will usually win by unfair advantage. This should be common sense. Women break the rules because in their minds, there are no rules outside of the ones THEY make.

This is why you have fat women chasing attractive men with the belief they “deserve him”. If a woman decides men should be attracted to fat women, then in HER mind “that’s the rule”. Therefore, she deserves an attractive man and any man who insults fat women will be attacked.  

The Rules for Men in 2013

In a time with no rules, a man can only succeed by getting back to basics. This is what I discuss in detail in Getting Back Your Mojo. Getting back to the basics of natural attraction and power is the key to success. NOT learning how to play the guitar, getting tattoos or using gimmicks. Props will only get you a woman’s attention, but they won’t keep it.

The rule for men in 2013 is simply to be AWARE and OPPORTUNISTIC.

Today most men view themselves as boys and women as goddesses of pleasure and beauty. But women view themselves as adults and most men as children or ATM’s.

Don’t be an idiot and don’t be a sucker. Stop believing you have to squander away your time, money and freedom in order to have a woman. Stop believing it’s your job to protect women or help them with their lives. Stop believing you need to have a woman at all. Open your eyes and see reality for what it is.

The rules have changed. The faster you wake up and realize this, the more satisfying your relationships with women will be. Dating in 2013 is highly corrupt and shallow thanks to online dating and social media. People are in front of the camera 24/7 (even if it’s just an iPhone camera). All women feel like celebrities under constant surveillance. This only brings out their insecurity and need to “look good” more. It basically prolongs High School “in crowd” competition.

Men who fail to understand this and continue viewing women as mommy’s and deep beacons of morality will continue losing the game. Women today are horny and shallow. Take advantage of this. Stop trying to “protect them” and stop trying to be the “good guy”. These people are adults, they don’t need your protection (but they’ll take it if you offer it).

Today we live in a highly individualistic world. No one owes anyone anything. It’s a simple game of who can come out on top. Guy pays for three dinners and gets no sex out of it? Too bad for him. Girl gets pounded by a guy for a week and then he never calls her again? Too bad for her.

***Exclusive Player Knowledge***

Pay attention: As a player (and as a man) you need to always do what’s in your best interest. What’s in your best interest in the dating world will not be anything a woman tells you to do. Her “rules” are designed to benefit HER, not the man in her life. Never forget this.

The Emotional Leash

A true player uses a woman’s greatest weakness against her: Her ego.

Once a woman knows you like her, she is going to want you to KEEP likening her for the sake of her ego (and so she can utilize you in various ways). If she sees your interest in her slipping, it will cause insecurity and stress. This occurs even when the woman doesn’t particularly like you very much. That’s how frail most women’s egos are.

To take advantage of this, a player will come on strong in the beginning (using physical touch and having deep conversations). But he will keep his emotional distance on the inside. Once the woman gets used to his attention and flattery, he will back off and act cold. You’ll notice this is almost the same tactic I explained in my last article: How Emotional Investment Happens which women use on men. While this tactic is similar, the player version is shallower and less involved.

The player’s main goal is to maintain his freedom while keeping a group of sexually available women buzzing around him. To accomplish this, he must keep all women in a state of suspense and anticipation. He must create an emotional leash that keeps a woman “wanting more” and unable to walk away. He must give a woman something, then take it back and make her fight to re-attain it.

The Dangers

I’ve discussed some of the dangers of using player power on women in Baby Steps To Smash Town. The reality is some women are psycho, obsessive and bat-shit crazy. Most of the stories you’ve heard about women who murder their partners or cut off a man’s penis are great examples.

Simply put, if you screw with (or just screw) the wrong bitch you might find yourself dead. This is why it’s so important to move FAST as a player. Don’t allow too many deep emotions to develop before you bang a woman. It’s also not a bad idea to know basic self-defense. Just don’t develop DEEP relationships. If you can’t bang a woman in a month, move on. Use the emotional leash tactic on slutty women and timid women. They are less likely to go psycho on you when you eventually abandon them. Avoid desperate women and women anxiously looking for husbands and kids. They are more likely to become obsessed and come after you, slash your tires, damage your property, have you beat up by a White Knight, etc.

Also, just because a woman SEEMS to take a break-up well.. that doesn’t mean she isn’t obsessing over it and/or plotting revenge. The female ego is very frail. Female pride is very dangerous. Women like to always feel like the “attractive one” and most want to feel in control of their “relationships” especially now in 2013. Whenever a woman flips, it’s because she has failed to successfully manipulate a man she believed she could “have”. The damage to her ego can drive her insane.

No matter what any man says… all he really wants is sex. Men don’t usually go out to bars and clubs looking for someone to fall in love with. Women know this, so they elevate the price of sex in order to force emotional investment from men. This is all designed to make the man stick around. This is a big reason why women are in such a hurry to give the men in their lives titles: Boyfriend, creep, friend, random hook-up, etc.

Once a woman puts a guy into a certain category, she is usually rigid about moving him out of it. This is because the “category” determines how she will behave with that individual man. It determines what information she will share with him or hide from him. It determines how she will go about utilizing or manipulating him. Why do you think women tell their “girlfriends” and their male friends (which are basically the same thing to her) things she would never tell her boyfriend or any other guy she wants to bang?

This just shows the depth of female dishonesty. I don’t say this to flame women for having bad ethics. I say it to justify being a player. Any man who believes women are more innocent or “moral” than men in 2013 is a fool. In modern times, the average woman is more corrupt than the average man. Like fools, most men are blind to this fact and continue falling for all the guilt trips. The corrupt nature of the women he deals with goes completely unnoticed and usually gets dismissed as “crazy” or “PMS”. But WHY are men so blind to the faults of women? Why do they let them get away with murder? The reason “why” is what this article is all about.

Women Understand Relationships

I talk about keeping your emotional distance from women very often on this blog for a reason. It’s really the most important part of being a good Player. Someone who is emotional can’t think clearly and is likely to make foolish decisions. Once you get emotional you are doomed and at the mercy of the woman you’re banging (or want to bang).

It’s easy to say “keep your emotional distance” but it’s much harder to do in practice; especially if you’re ignorant. Your average woman has been trained since elementary school how to manage relationships. She grew up dreaming about her wedding day and her first boyfriend. Women’s lives revolve around RELATIONSHIPS more than anything else. This gives them a huge edge over men who typically don’t worry much about relationships. Your average man is a sitting duck for most women who want to manipulate him. His only natural defense is his natural inborn shallowness (he will ignore women he doesn’t find attractive).

The man who is power hungry enough to learn about relationships to the same capacity as your average female is truly a force to be reckoned with. He is much harder for a woman to manipulate or trap. This makes him dangerous and even a little “scary”. This is why you should never publically admit to being a player (I say this often because its important).

In the dating world, knowledge is power. Women are generally more knowledgeable about men than vica versa. In addition to being more knowledgeable, they often go out of their way to keep men in the dark about the true nature of women as a whole.

How Women Seduce & Trap Men

Women have a playbook they use on men who they want to “trap”. Once she sets her sights on a man she believes to be “a keeper” she will pull out her bag of tricks to gradually turn him into her emotional slave. The first trick in the book is convincing the man that she is a “catch”. This is accomplished though submission and easy-going behavior. Sex whenever he wants it and love for all his friends, hobbies, and interests. In addition to this, drama will be low. She will always be happy and enthusiastic around him as if his very existence makes her happy. How can any man resist?

So naturally, trust is formed and the man will begin to let his guard down and reveal all his secrets. He will invest in this woman emotionally and pedestalize her like some queen or goddess. This is the EXACT point where the man has lost all control and become her slave.

Once the woman becomes aware that she successfully enslaved her man, her behavior will gradually become more rude, dramatic and unreliable. This is the exact point where a man’s ears should perk up and he should take the position of “mistrust” until she falls back in line. But since the man made the mistake of becoming emotionally invested, his brain is as good as mush and he is completely hypnotized. His penis is now his only functioning brain.

Now.. you would think once the woman’s behavior becomes bitchy the man would fall out of love with her and lose interest. That is what SHOULD happen, but it almost never does. Why? Well, that is the depth of a woman’s ability to manipulate. She will convince the man that her crappy behavior is HIS FAULT. He is not “loving enough”, he is not “ambitious enough”, he doesn’t help around the house enough. Like a fool, the man will work harder to be a better partner, rather than putting her in her place. As he works harder to please her, she only becomes more cold and detached.

The man will foolishly believe he is suppressing all the good qualities of his woman by not being a “good enough partner” when in reality THESE GOOD QUALITIES WERE NEVER THERE. She faked the whole thing in order to seduce and enslave him. By means of sex, praise, emotional blackmail and romance the man is fooled into believing he is in control and his woman is in love with him when in reality he has little say in his relationship. She is in control.

What This Means For a Player

Simply being aware of this as a player will automatically make it much harder for a woman to successfully seduce you. A true player is the hardest man in the world to seduce. Even harder than an alpha male. He just knows too much about how women think and operate. This makes it very hard for women to “sell the dream” to him. He doesn’t buy it. A woman is more likely to be enslaved by a player than to successfully enslave one.

This is why (like I’ve said many times) SOCIETY DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE A PLAYER. It gives the individual man too much power.

Society does not benefit from individual men having power over women because this is bad for the economy. Women are the big spenders because they spend both their own money and the money of sucker men. Men who are enslaved by woman keep the money machine going. It keeps men working hard to make money so they can buy crap to impress women. It keeps women buying cosmetics, hair products and expensive clothes so they can chase the high status men and raise the price of sex. It also keeps people having kids.. which are also expensive.

Money and sex runs the world. Any man who buys into the sappy “love and relationships” stuff is setting himself up to get TRAPPED. Unfortunately for most modern men, they WILL get trapped. Most men are slaves to their women and their sex drives. They don’t have the wisdom, strength or knowledge to keep their freedom via the player lifestyle, so they fall into traps. They buy into media bullshit and wife up the first cute girl who looks at them cross eyed, becoming her slave. This benefits society at the expense of men.

We need these sucker men to keep the world going. But you don’t have to be one of these men.

The main thing you must focus on as a player is eradicating all fear of women. Like I said in Getting Your Mojo Back, this can only be accomplished by viewing yourself as being above all women. Making a woman submit is what the game is all about, because deep down, every woman wants to submit to a strong man. Under all the bravado and “independence” all women are like bratty children inside.

Your Way or The High Way

While relationships are supposed to be about “compromise” this rarely works very well in reality. Like I say in my book The Lothario Upper Hand: the 50/50 relationship is a pipedream. There is no “equality” in relationships, just the master and the subject.

Therefore, it’s important very early on to establish to women that you are NOT the “subject” in the relationship. This is the primary difference between alpha male behavior and beta male behavior. The beta male is all about: “What do you want to do?” Where do you want to go? What do you want to eat?”. The alpha male is all about: “This is what we are doing. This is where we are going. This is what we are eating.” Get the idea?

Having a bossy attitude with women will always stimulate them. It doesn’t matter if she is the biggest feminist in the world. Women are BIOLOGICALLY wired to respond to authority. When no authority is given, they act like bratty little kids. This is what most modern men experience with modern women because they are too chicken shit to put them in their place.

When you start a new relationship with a woman, you should be bossy right out of the gate. This doesn’t mean barking orders at her and acting like a drill sergeant. This just means telling her what to do. Stuff like:

“Hold my beer”

“Give me your phone number”

“Get in the car”

“Meet me at 5:30”

“Get dressed”

“Text me when you get off work”

It’s very simple. If you want a woman to do something, simply TELL HER TO DO IT. You should act like this is totally normal. If she complains about your bossy personality, react with confusion. Something like: “What are you talking about? Get me a beer.”

Never be timid or apologetic about it. It should be like the boss/employee relationship at work. When she acts right she gets rewarded with prizes. Dating is prostitution after all, so if you as a man are expected to “pay” for her time and affection… then you should also be the boss (I say “expected” because often a player doesn’t “pay” anyway).

This should be your behavior in the bedroom as well. Treat her like a sex toy in the bedroom. As a man you should never feel it’s your job to be “good in bed” for women. You should only fulfill her sexual requests after she has fulfilled yours. Why? Because this is only fair when you consider the true nature of female sexual pleasure. Women don’t know they like something in bed until some guy DOES IT TO THEM. This means, whatever it is your girl likes in bed, it came from another guy. When she has a sexual request, she is basically saying: “Do what my ex-boyfriend did to me (or some random guy I hooked up with)”.

Sexual experience is a badge of honor for a man, not a woman. So if a woman is so bold to brag about her sexual experience by asking you to bang her like her Ex did, then she better earn it by pleasing you FIRST.

Rebellious Women

The beautiful thing about being a bossy man is you will easily be able to identify passive women who you can control vs. bitchy women who will defy you. Regardless of which type of woman she is, your bossy attitude WILL stimulate her and get her attention. Women love a man with balls more than anything in the world. There is something deeply masculine about a bold man who isn’t afraid to rock the boat. It’s sexy and most women find it irresistible. This is why women lust after ugly fat men like Tony Soprano and Simon Cowell.

Rebellious women who defy you will still enjoy the challenge you bring to them. They might even be bitchier with you because you are a “real man” who isn’t afraid of them. They rarely experience this. They’ll want to see if you’re the real deal or just a poser. They’ll test you and see how far they can push you before you break down and cry like a typical beta male. This is another reason why it’s so important (like I say constantly in this blog) to stay as emotionally detached as possible.

One of the Golden Rules of Being a Player

It’s the man’s job to chase SEX. It’s the woman’s job to chase LOVE. Any woman who can’t get you to love her after giving you sex is a failure. Just like any man who can’t get a woman to bang him after giving her love is a failure. This is also why women never feel “guilty” for not banging a man who has fallen in love with her; likewise, as a player YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT LOVING A WOMAN WHO HAS BANGED YOU.

I talk about a few different types of women in my book The Lothario Upper Hand, but for this article I’m breaking it down by two types:

1. Genuine Women
2. Control Freaks

The main difference between these two types of women will be how they interact with men and what they reveal about themselves to men. Here is how you tell the difference:

Genuine Women

While no woman is 100% genuine, some are a lot more genuine and straight forward than others. Genuine women are never teases or Female Players. Sometimes they are bitches and sluts, but at least you’ll know where they stand and rarely be confused.

Genuine women don’t lead men on. They will reject you if they’re not interested and they won’t bullshit you in order to milk you for money, attention, connections, etc. Genuine women are not sketchy, so they always have a very strong sense of “self” and a personality you can easily pin down. You will KNOW who she is and who she isn’t. You will know what she is willing to do and what she is not willing to do. Surprises will be rare.

Genuine women won’t be very manipulative. They won’t try to “trick you” into doing things or play lots of mind games. They will be a lot more direct about how they feel. They are aware this gives you more power, but they don’t have time for games.

The downside of the genuine woman is she will often bore you over time. Even if she is a bitch or a slut, she is often a “one trick pony”. As a result, you might eventually get a “been there, done that” feeling after being involved with her for a long time. However, if you are relationship minded, genuine women are your safest bet for a healthy relationship.

Oh.. and one more thing: These women are extremely rare if you are talking about women who are 7 and above in looks. The more attractive a woman is the more likely she will NOT be this type. Life is funny ain’t it?

Control Freak

I like to call this type of woman the “control freak” rather than the “disingenuous woman” because this type of woman will play every game in the book to manipulate a man into doing what she wants. It’s a myth that most control freaks are loud, bitchy and aggressive. In reality, aggressive women are often the most honest of the bunch. It’s the shy, quiet, innocent looking women that are usually the most manipulative and controlling.

Don’t be fooled when you see a loud macho guy with a sweet girlfriend… thinking he is the boss. It’s usually the opposite. Shy women are control freaks. They are quiet because it allows them to gather information and learn everyone else’s secrets while they hide their own. Then they use the information they gather to manipulate the people around them. Often these women are deeply insecure and have fears of abandonment. For this reason, they do everything they can to completely enslave a man emotionally.

This woman will only provide information if she believes it will increase her power in a situation. The pillow talk, innocent chatter in the car, sweet text messages, etc. They are all designed to manipulate you into putting her on a pedestal and foolishly believing she is “special” and a PRIZE.

When this woman doesn’t get what she wants from you or fails at successfully manipulating you, she will give you the passive-aggressive silent treatment. Since most men are weak and desperate for pussy.. this usually leads them to become so uncomfortable that they break down and spill the beans… flooding her ears with even MORE precious information she can later use to manipulate him.

This is the type of woman that leads men into the many traps I’ve discussed before. These women are dangerous because of their perceived innocence. They will come across like they can’t hurt a fly. When they push a man to his limit and he lashes out, hoards of white knights will rush in to defend her honor. They will come to rescue this “delicate little flower”. They will defend her in public as strangers, through the law as lawyers, and in divorce court as judges. This is the depth of her control.

Choose Your Women Wisely

As a player you must avoid ever getting into a serious (or even semi-serious) relationship with a control freak woman. She will cut your balls OFF (figuratively and sometimes literally). The best approach to take with this woman is “bang and run”. She is not worth the headache.

I’ve dropped some exclusive player knowledge in the past. Here is some more. LISTEN CLOSE BECAUSE THIS IS INFORMATION 99% OF MEN DON’T KNOW:

You will always be able to identify your level of control over a woman by her willingness to submit. Always look for submission. The minute a woman stops submitting to you, your ears should perk up and your mind should immediately take the default position of “mistrust” until submission occurs again.

I said in my last article that protecting yourself from bad women is like protecting yourself from dogs. A dog you can trust will be loving and submissive. A dog that barks, snaps or defies you will be trouble. Women are the same. Only trust them when they submit. The minute they stop, you should know something is up. Most likely, she is making a power move to GET something from you.

Anytime women withhold affection or sex, it is always to GET SOMETHING out of the man. It might be something small like “more attention” or something big like “marriage”. Perk up your ears and pay attention!

Some of the best players and PUA’s are also some of the biggest misogynists. It makes sense if you really think about it. One great example is this guy. He has a lot of great advice, but also a lot of hatred for women.

But being a player should be about adapting and winning. It’s a game of power and results. I’ve said several times that a player wins by making women emotional while he stays detached. A man who is detached can’t be a misogynist. Cold and calculating.. sure.. but hateful.. never.

Here are three important reasons you should try to avoid becoming a misogynist:

1. You Have Nothing To Gain

A player is all about winning and personal gain. Where a player has nothing to gain, he does not venture. The way society is structured today, anyone who is an obvious bigot or “hater” of any group of people will be shamed and destroyed one way or another. In addition to that, they will not be trusted or respected by anyone. Becoming a misogynist is social suicide.

You will be dismissed as “crazy” and “butthurt” by the masses. In this article I discussed the important difference between caring what others think of you for emotional reasons vs. personal gain.

A player doesn’t shoot himself in the foot by standing up for any cause. A player doesn’t take sides. He is not on “team men” or “team women”. He is on his own team: An independent lone wolf.

2. Hating Women Only Gives Women Power

That’s the ironic thing about hate. When you hate something you give it significance and power. You make it “important” and you elevate it in a way that’s often far beyond its true importance.

Like I said in the opening statement: “A player wins by making women emotional while he stays detached. A man who is detached can’t be a misogynist.” He doesn’t give a shit!

In short.. by becoming a misogynist you are giving women power over your emotions. You are allowing them to “get to you” and break you down inside. This will make your interactions with women less fun, less exciting and less satisfying. You will be filled with paranoia and resentment around women instead of enjoying them like you should.

A player views women as challenging toys for his entertainment. Not as a massive threat to him. The reality about women is they DO have the capacity to destroy your life. They can destroy you financially and emotionally. I discussed the many traps men can fall into here. However, a man who knows what he is getting himself into will have less reason to be fearful, cynical or hateful. Women can only screw you if you give them the opportunity.

I like to view dealing with women the same as dealing with dogs. A dog has the ability to inflict great harm on you and physically destroy you. At the same time a dog has the ability to be very loyal, helpful and loving. Women are the same way. They can make your life better or they can destroy it. Being a player is all about never giving women the opportunity to destroy you.

3. It’s Bad For Your Mental Health

This one should be pretty obvious. If you spend all your time hating and resenting other people, it’s going to eventually take a toll on your emotional health. For a player to thrive, he needs to be emotionally detached and in a “Zen” state as often as possible. Not giving a shit is one of the most important qualities of being a player.

Women were put on earth for men to enjoy and have kids with. If you can’t enjoy a woman you should walk out of her life without looking back. This is much healthier than becoming angry or bitter.

Most men who hate women got fucked over by one at some point in his life. This happened because that man probably didn’t have the will or ability to WALK AWAY when things started falling apart. In Part 1 of “The logic Behind Dodging Commitment” I discussed how women are hypergamous. For this reason.. being totally loyal to a woman is a very foolish and ignorant thing to do. Especially in 2013. However, many men make this mistake every day and they pay for it.

If you ALWAYS walk away when things get toxic, you will never have a reason to be bitter. Don’t beat a dead horse or desperately cling to a failing relationship. Just keep it moving like a true player.

Loss of Sexual Choice

I think it’s almost stupid that I even have to point this out. Obviously when you commit to a woman, she becomes your only source of sex. This gives her total power over the relationship because if she knows you are unwilling to get sexual release from another woman, she can literally turn you into a puppet by withholding sex at calculated times.

It’s very similar to being a monopoly in business. If you are the only company that makes quality vitamins in the world and anyone who wants vitamins must come through you… then you have a lot of power don’t you? You can adjust prices and make the people who need your vitamins jump through all kinds of hoops to get them. This is very similar to how the diamond industry operates. Diamonds are NOT rare.  

Once a man commits to a woman, she becomes a monopoly when it comes to sex. She is the only source. Therefore, she can charge whatever price she wants. The man is totally powerless and either has to pay the price or suffer without it.

A player never has this problem because a player never commits. Without commitment, a woman has no power over a man. In addition, he often has more power over women because they like the challenge of trying to “tie him down”. This means most women will bring out their “A game” by giving the best sex and being as subservient as possible in order to beat out the competition. Women know how to make a man happy, but once a man commits to them, they no longer need to. This is what most men are too ignorant to understand.

Most men commit as an attempt at “ownership”. They have found what they believe to be a “quality woman” and they want to lock her down so that other men don’t have access to her. What most men don’t realize is there is no ownership of women in 2013. You never own a woman and she can leave any time she chooses. In marriage, there is no-fault divorce, which means she can leave any time and you have to PAY her to do so. So only a moron would try to “own” a woman in 2013.

Speaking of marriage….

Marriage Laws

It’s a well-known fact that marriage laws benefit women. A lot of men are fully aware of this, but are too desperate for pussy and manipulated by society to look out for their own best interest. Men who are aware of what they stand to lose through marriage, yet get married anyway, are proof of how desperate a lot of men are. They will sacrifice anything for some arm candy and sex.

What most men fail to realize is that once a woman marries you she is no longer obligated to do anything. She has won the game and you are now her slave for life. She can nag, cut off sex and treat you like dirt if she pleases. You just have to put up with it. If you divorce her, guess what? You have to pay her. Does that sound like a good deal?

No matter how high quality a woman SEEMS to be, she can always change down the road. Like I already said: women are hypergamous.

With marriage you are betting your emotional and financial future on a woman’s emotions. If that’s not the most ignorant thing a man can do, I don’t know what is. It is literally the equivalent of giving a friend a loaded gun they can use to shoot you any time they wish with no repercussions. Plus, if they decide to shoot you with the gun, YOU are the one that goes to jail. Your only protection is your knowledge that you can “trust them” not to ever use that gun. But why give another human being that much power over you?

So there you have it men. The cold mathematical logic behind why men should avoid commitment. Most men will not listen to this advice because they will be too arrogant to believe they can ever fall victim to a woman. This is why (like I always say) most men are not players. Being a player is for the enlightened man.

A lot of people assign a negative opinion to someone who stays single and avoids getting into committed relationships. Anyone who goes against the herd of sheep will always be viewed with some level of suspicion and mistrust. How dare a person think for themselves?!

However, dodging commitment is a very logical thing to do when you look at things objectively. Many people believe commitment dodgers are making an emotional decision based on past pain and suffering. They view them as “bitter” or “jaded” or “heartbroken”. Sometimes this is true, but not always. Many male players have made the decision based on simple math. In 2013, committing to a woman is usually not in a man’s best interest, unless he has nothing to lose. But most men with nothing to lose will not be able to get a woman to commit to them.

Here is the math behind living the player lifestyle in 2013:

Women Are Hypergamous

You can read the full definition of hypergamy here. It basically means women “date up” whenever possible. They want a partner who offers more than themselves. They want to be taken care of and provided for. This is why you can find many women with long lists of what qualities a man should have, but when you ask them what they offer they can’t name anything. This is also why most highly successful women refuse to marry a man who is less successful. Women don’t want to take care of men.

More importantly, hypergamy is NOT monogamy. Women are not wired to commit to one man for life. They are wired to seek out the best man they can find and stick to him as long as he continues to be the best. Once a man’s status, ability to provide or ability to protect her starts to slip, her attraction and love slips with it.

The bottom line is women are not loyal to men. They are much more loyal to other women. They will often keep female associates for life, but men will come and go depending on their utility. Men are not valued for their humanity, they are valued for their utility. Just like women are not valued for their humanity, they are valued for their sex appeal. So a man who is loyal to women is a fool. This is just science.

Are their exceptions to this? Of course, but those exceptions are not sexy 18-25 lingerie models; they are usually 500 pound whales and generally unattractive.

Therefore, close emotional relationships serve women more than men. Men are designed to benefit from relatively shallow relationships that require minimum investment… a.k.a the player lifestyle.

Squandering Your Future

Since deep romantic relationships are designed to primarily benefit women, they often do. How many girlfriends have you had who you could get away with spending absolutely NO money on?

I think it’s safe to say that most men would have no problem staying committed to a woman who never spent a dime on him. As long as she is attractive, sexually available and kind, most men are satisfied. Since men are so easy to please, women benefit from elevating the price of their sexuality and kindness. She can get away with requiring unreasonable levels of servitude and expenditure on her before she gives a man even basic kindness.

What this means for the man is a large chunk of his time and hard earned money will go toward keeping his woman happy. That money he spends on the needs of his woman could be used to start a business, invest in stocks, save for the future or add to his retirement account. But instead of using his money to elevate his position in life and secure his future, most men will use it for either chasing or keeping women.

We are starting to see some of the results of this dynamic with the youngest generation of adults. Women are passing men. Not only are more women going to college, but we are also seeing an increase in women in their 20’s making 100K while most men in their 20’s are still flipping burgers. I wrote an article last year that touched on this on this situation.

But of course women are passing men! They get to spend all their money on themselves, plus they get excess money, connections and opportunities from stupid men. Over time, only the smart men (players and alphas) who refuse to sacrifice themselves for the sake of women will have anything in the end. Then you end up with three main groups of people:

1. A high population of poor struggling men who are slaves to child support, alimony or debt
2. A small population of elite men
3. A large population of middle and upper class women.

This is the direction things are going in and I believe it’s by design. We men don’t like competition from other men for the best women. Creating fake holidays like Valentine’s day and flooding the media with images of whipped men is all designed to elevate women so high that most men will do ANYTHING to please them and attain them; even squandering their own futures. This allows players and alpha’s to enjoy women without having to cater to their needs, since their needs are being met by the state, as well as by hoards of desperate “nice guy” men. It’s the large scale example of every woman with a jerk boyfriend and a dozen nice guy male friends trying to support her and convince her she is better off with THEM and not the jerk. But why would she bang them when they are already giving her everything she needs without sex? Most men are morons and will never understand this.

More on the logic behind dodging commitment in part 2

Ugly women, fat women and other types of women who have very few dating options don’t really need to be “played”. It’s just like if you are a big handsome celebrity like Channing Tatum, you really don’t need “game” or to be a “player”. Once you’re at the top you can basically cherry pick who you want to bang. Attractive women enjoy a similar advantage and becoming a player increases your chances of getting one of these women to cherry pick YOU.

With that said.. let’s explore more ways women use and abuse their dating advantages:

False Complexity

One of the biggest lies out there is the idea that women are complex. I find it laughable that men are stupid enough to believe this. Women are extremely simple, just very dishonest. They use emotionalism and dishonesty to create a fake vale of complexity.

Being “the weaker sex”, women would be completely powerless in this world if they allowed men to truly figure them out. It’s to their benefit to seem complex and keep men insecure. This is why a big part of being a good player is playing dumb. Once a woman finds out how crafty and knowledgeable you are about seduction, she will be intimidated. Ever notice how women recoil when they find out a man reads books about seduction or any other PUA material? Women are very uncomfortable with men having this knowledge and they will not hesitate to attack and shame men who acquire it (while they are free to read books like The Rules).

Women learned a long time ago that the more insecure men are, the more powerful women become. This is why today you have men wearing make-up and tight jeans and putting rimes on their base model Toyota’s. All of these behaviors scream: “I’m horny, insecure and desperate! Please love me!”

Who Women Bang vs. Who They Exploit

Women know that men who give into mainstream crap are the most desperate for pussy and therefore, the easiest to exploit. A man engaging in this desperate game is comparable to a woman who shows her boobs to every guy she meets. Just how most men who meet such a woman will probably just jizz on her face and move on; women have the same attitude towards “try hard” men. She will use the guy with the souped-up Toyota as her personal driver and let the guy with the tight jeans take her out to dinner when the guy she is really banging flakes on her. Then once those desperate clowns get clingy.. she’ll put them in the friend zone and move on to another sucker.

The moral of the story is not to listen to women when they tell you what they want. I touched on this already in Getting Back Your Mojo – Part 1 but I think it needs more elaboration to drive the point home.

As a player, you will always win by blocking out the bullshit and having a clear rational mind. At first glance women SEEM very inconsistent in the types of men they date. But if you look closely you’ll see they are very consistent. Here is the basic pattern attractive women follow:

Age 18-24 = Date and bang the hottest or most popular guy available. It’s all about impressing your friends and having fun. Use nice guy suckers for free meals, free resources, therapy sessions and as back-ups when “hot guy” flakes out.

Age 25-30 = Date and bang richest most high status guy available. It’s all about status and acquiring resources for the future. Seek out possible fathers and husbands. Use nice guy suckers for free meals, free resources, therapy sessions and as back-ups when “rich guy” flakes out.

Age 30-40 = Date and bang the most stable and honest guy but only after he has jumped through a million hoops and lost all self-respect (here is your chance nice guy). Marry nice guy so he can help raise kids and become a captive ATM, therapist and body guard until you decide to divorce him and take half his shit. Use hot guys and rich guys as exciting sex toys on the side and as possible sperm donors for your kids (unknown to nice guy sucker husband).

Age 40+ = Irrelevant. Seriously.. do you care?

Does this make you sad or angry? It shouldn’t. As a man, you pay a very high price for being delusional about women. Knowing the harsh truth might be disappointing, but it also puts you in a position of POWER and freedom. This is why I say the player lifestyle is not for kids. It’s for enlightened man. Most men are not enlightened and therefore most men will fall into the traps of marriage and servitude.

I already discussed The Male Dating Advantage last year so it’s only fair I discuss the female advantage as well. But since this blog is for men, the end goal of any information I share is giving men useful tools that will improve their game. Therefore, I’m not JUST going to point out female dating advantages, I’m going to tell you what you can do about them. There is a lot of power in knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your target / opponent right?

Game = Power

It’s no secret that PUA material and the emergence of “game” is a relatively new thing. You have to ask yourself why this material never existed before feminism. Is it a direct result? Did men become more insecure as women became more powerful? ..YES.

One big downside that came from feminism was the blurring of gender roles. Since men are horny and only need a woman to look good for sexual interest, feminism gave women the power to cherry pick gender roles that suited them. Men went along with it because they wanted to get laid. Most men didn’t care if they had to pay for everything when the girl they’re dating makes more money than them… as long as he gets laid in the end, he is happy. THIS right here is where things went wrong for men. It all started when men stopped caring about how a woman acts and only focused on her sex appeal.

As owners of vaginas, it became easy for women to dictate all the terms of romantic relationships. If a man doesn’t follow her “rules” he gets cut off from sex. At the same time, she doesn’t have to follow any rules herself because she is “empowered” and “independent”. She doesn’t need a man.

PUA material and “game” was simply the beginning of men trying to restore balance to a system that gives one side too much power. Game gives men power. Being a player gives men power. So naturally.. women hate it.

An Insecure Man is an Obedient Man

There are lots of ways women manipulate men into being insecure about things they should not be insecure about. Why are men today so worried about body image, style and their overall appearance compared to the past? These are all feminine things only women used worry about. Lots of men are out there dancing like clowns, plucking their eyebrows and bleaching their teeth to impress women.. only to watch the girl they’re trying to impress get banged by the pot smoker with the shaggy beard and dirty jeans. What happened??

The reality is, women like to look better than their men, but at the same time, not be embarrassed by him. Most women will not go for a man who is prettier than herself (or believes he is) because that gives the man too much power. To modern women, men are supposed to be accessories. If you dress better than her, then you need to also be uglier than her to protect her frail ego.

Women get power by nitpicking a man’s physical appearance and making him feel “less than her”. She wants to look better than her man so she can then demand resources from him to make up for his lower level of attractiveness. Buy me stuff! Take me places! Impress me! I look better than you so you better prove you are worth my time!

How Women REALLY Select Men

This is the order of “qualities” women look for when deciding who they will date or bang:

1. Utility
2. Attraction
3. Emotions

The majority of women use their vagina as a currency to acquire resources. There is really only a small minority of women who get LOTS of pleasure from sex. Most women use sex as currency or as a way to get pregnant. The main reason for this is because the majority of women can only be sexually aroused by extremely attractive men who know how to simulate them. This is why I stress getting women EMOTIONAL so much in this blog.

The ideal situation is to get her emotional FIRST and let attraction come next. I discuss ways to do that in my book The Lothario Upper Hand. But in the majority of cases, the first question a woman asks when she meets a new man is usually:

“What can I get?”

The pot smoker who gets laid might offer free pot and later the girl becomes attracted to him after spending some time together. But keep in mind that if a woman can “get stuff” from you without having to bang you.. SHE WILL. So as a player, only offer your utility once you know attraction is present. The best way for a player to nail women is:

1. Emotions
2. Attraction
3. Sex! (skip the utility)

But if emotions can’t be stimulated, you have to play the game and make your utility clear. Then hold off on actually providing the utility until she bangs you. In other words, once you have her attention (because of your utility) show sexual interest and use it as a CONDITION for her involvement with you.

Example: You might tell her how you’d love to take her to the beach to ride your jet ski. However, you don’t make any official plans until you’ve banged her (all women must pay upfront!).

Women Offering Dating Advice

Women gained a lot of power overall when men started taking them seriously as sources of reliable dating advice. Haha!!

This is one of the main reasons men are so insecure these days; they actually started listening to women. They made the ignorant mistake of asking women what they want in a man and expecting an honest answer. Women have nothing to gain by giving every man in the world the map to her vagina. In a woman’s mind, the “worthy men” will figure it out on their own.

Asking women for dating advice is the number one DUMBEST dating mistake men make in their lives (outside of sex without a condom). I’ll say that again:

ASKING WOMEN FOR DATING ADVICE IS THE NUMBER ONE DUMBEST DATING MISTAKE MEN MAKE IN THEIR LIVES (outside of sex without a condom).

Then you have the media putting out all these lies about how women really think. Most men fall for it. Then they cry and freak out about how women say one thing and do another. Wake up! Women are not going tell you how to attract them.

Continue to Part 2.