What separates players from regular men is often how they handle a first date. I’ve said in past articles that it’s better not to even call it a “date” because using labels adds to the pressure on both parties. Nevertheless, the first time you privately meet with a new woman will be considered a “first date” in HER mind.
In past articles I laid out some of the logistics of how you should handle the first date. There are also good tips in my book The Lothario Upper Hand.
The most important part of doing a first date right is your ATTITUDE. Not just your attitude towards the girl, but your attitude towards your entire role in the process.
Fun, Fun, Fun
As a player, fun is always your number one goal with women. Not power, not marriage, not getting a girlfriend, just FUN. Because if you can’t have fun with a woman, then she will simply be a useless and toxic addition to your life – no matter how hot she is.
Therefore, your goal for the first date should be having fun. Not necessarily showing HER a good time (players don’t jump through hoops) but making sure YOU have a good time.
Plan the first date with yourself in mind. There is no reason to plan based on what she wants because you don’t really know her enough for it to matter. If she wants to control the date, let HER ask you out and pay for it. Right?
Pick a place YOU want to go and an activity YOU want to do. If she suggests something else, only agree if it sounds like something YOU would enjoy. You should also talk about things YOU care about and ask her questions that will give YOU useful information about her.
Remember men: The pick-up is all about the girl. The first date is all about YOU.
When a woman likes you and gives you her number, she has agreed to enter your world. If she refuses, then she only gave you her number to get rid of you or for shallow male attention. Interested women always submit. Always, always, always.
Sex, Kiss or Leave?
Many men worry about the ending of the first date because they (again) focus mostly on the desires and expectations of the woman over their own. Players don’t go on multiple dates with cold fish. You must end the first date with some level of physicality.
The first rule is FUN. You must enjoy this girl’s company and like the things that come out of her mouth. If she turns you off with her behavior and isn’t fun to be around, cut the date short, only pay for your own share and invite her to your place immediately (so you can sleep with her). If you can’t enjoy her company, it’s time to just bang her and move on. If you can’t bang her, then end the date and move on to the next girl.
If the girl is fun, respectful, and flirtatious, then grab her ass. This will reveal the type of woman she is. You learn more about women by putting them in certain situations than you do by asking them questions. If she enjoys the ass grab, she is sexual and you should escalate. Continue to be physical with her. Then end the date with sex.
In the case where you grab her ass and she says: “Stooop..” in a quiet whiny voice, that means she might like you but she isn’t that easy. Girls like this might be worth keeping around if they’re run. Most likely she is a “good girl” which I talk about in The Lothario Upper Hand. However, if she starts playing games she might be a tease or attention whore. In which case, drop her fast.
End all first dates by going in for a kiss. If you get the cheek, it means she views you as a beta male. Either someone she wants to observe/exploit longer or someone she will eventually friend zone. The truth about women is, they aren’t afraid to get physical with men whom they have a strong attraction to. Women believe “love happens fast”. I’ve gotten blow jobs from virgins for example. If a woman is against “sex on the first date” but still has a strong attraction, she WILL let you kiss her on the lips and touch her body. Otherwise she is playing a game that may or may not lead to sex. Remember, its 2013.
Finally, a girl who doesn’t like you at all will insult you, end the date or curse at you for grabbing her ass. This is also your cue to walk away and delete her number. Never apologize by the way. She either has NO attraction to you at all or she is an extreme feminist / bitch.