What separates players from regular men is often how they handle a first date. I’ve said in past articles that it’s better not to even call it a “date” because using labels adds to the pressure on both parties. Nevertheless, the first time you privately meet with a new woman will be considered a “first date” in HER mind.

In past articles I laid out some of the logistics of how you should handle the first date. There are also good tips in my book The Lothario Upper Hand.

The most important part of doing a first date right is your ATTITUDE. Not just your attitude towards the girl, but your attitude towards your entire role in the process.

Fun, Fun, Fun

As a player, fun is always your number one goal with women. Not power, not marriage, not getting a girlfriend, just FUN. Because if you can’t have fun with a woman, then she will simply be a useless and toxic addition to your life – no matter how hot she is.

Therefore, your goal for the first date should be having fun. Not necessarily showing HER a good time (players don’t jump through hoops) but making sure YOU have a good time.

Plan the first date with yourself in mind. There is no reason to plan based on what she wants because you don’t really know her enough for it to matter. If she wants to control the date, let HER ask you out and pay for it. Right?

Pick a place YOU want to go and an activity YOU want to do. If she suggests something else, only agree if it sounds like something YOU would enjoy. You should also talk about things YOU care about and ask her questions that will give YOU useful information about her.

Remember men: The pick-up is all about the girl. The first date is all about YOU.

When a woman likes you and gives you her number, she has agreed to enter your world. If she refuses, then she only gave you her number to get rid of you or for shallow male attention. Interested women always submit. Always, always, always.

Sex, Kiss or Leave?

Many men worry about the ending of the first date because they (again) focus mostly on the desires and expectations of the woman over their own. Players don’t go on multiple dates with cold fish. You must end the first date with some level of physicality.

The first rule is FUN. You must enjoy this girl’s company and like the things that come out of her mouth. If she turns you off with her behavior and isn’t fun to be around, cut the date short, only pay for your own share and invite her to your place immediately (so you can sleep with her). If you can’t enjoy her company, it’s time to just bang her and move on. If you can’t bang her, then end the date and move on to the next girl.

If the girl is fun, respectful, and flirtatious, then grab her ass. This will reveal the type of woman she is. You learn more about women by putting them in certain situations than you do by asking them questions. If she enjoys the ass grab, she is sexual and you should escalate. Continue to be physical with her. Then end the date with sex.

In the case where you grab her ass and she says: “Stooop..” in a quiet whiny voice, that means she might like you but she isn’t that easy. Girls like this might be worth keeping around if they’re run. Most likely she is a “good girl” which I talk about in The Lothario Upper Hand. However, if she starts playing games she might be a tease or attention whore. In which case, drop her fast.

End all first dates by going in for a kiss. If you get the cheek, it means she views you as a beta male. Either someone she wants to observe/exploit longer or someone she will eventually friend zone. The truth about women is, they aren’t afraid to get physical with men whom they have a strong attraction to. Women believe “love happens fast”. I’ve gotten blow jobs from virgins for example. If a woman is against “sex on the first date” but still has a strong attraction, she WILL let you kiss her on the lips and touch her body. Otherwise she is playing a game that may or may not lead to sex. Remember, its 2013.

Finally, a girl who doesn’t like you at all will insult you, end the date or curse at you for grabbing her ass. This is also your cue to walk away and delete her number. Never apologize by the way. She either has NO attraction to you at all or she is an extreme feminist / bitch.

There isn’t much to say on this topic but it’s still worthy of discussion. Even the best player will find himself in situations where the girl leaves him unexpectedly for another man (or a better player). You can’t win them all and you won’t win them all. It’s just the nature of the game.

Most men handle rejection from women terribly and take it very personal. Even initial rejections when asking for a woman’s phone number is enough to depress some men.

Keep Your Dignity

A player never grovels. If you get dumped you should simply accept it and even support it. I’ve said several times in this blog that it’s best to leave first when you see things slipping. However, leaving first is not always possible. Some women will drop you without showing any prior signs of slipping interest level. If a woman dumps you, no matter what the method she uses, make sure you don’t engage in any of the following weak behavior:

-Asking for an explanation
-Agreeing to talk about it
-Arguing
-Trying to change her mind
-Insulting or cursing at her
-Crying
-Groveling
-Agreeing to be “friends”

Lay Down The Law

While you can’t keep a woman from leaving.. you CAN still control how you deal with it. Many guys allow a woman to dump them, then continue to be in that woman’s life in hopes of getting back together. Ironically, this is likely the reason she dumped him in the first place – she figured out that she can have a relationship with him without banging him. So why bother?

When men stay in a woman’s life after getting dumped, they are flushing away their last scrap of control in that relationship. YES, you still have some power after she dumps you. You have the power to “finish the relationship off”. After all, women like happy endings where everyone is still friends. You have the power to deny her this. However, this is not the main reason for avoiding her after a break up. The real reason you should walk away is because you must ALWAYS live on your own terms as a player. Being with a woman you want to bang but can’t is not living on your terms.. its living on HER terms.

This is a golden rule for being a true player: A WOMAN ONLY GETS ONE CHANCE PER LIFETIME TO DUMP YOU.

No man should ever give a woman a second chance to dump him. NEVER.

This is why you should say the following words to any woman who breaks up with you:

“If you leave, don’t come back”.

Those six words will hunt her long after the relationship has ended. They completely rob her of any power to manipulate or play games post-break-up. She can NEVER come back. This will not sit well with her. Most passive men see this as too “mean”. They are still looking out for a woman who is basically telling him he isn’t good enough for her and she can do better. If she can do better, why should you be her fall back in case she finds out later that she CAN’T do better? And believe me.. this happens often. That’s why the best thing you can say to a woman who dumps you is: “Don’t come back”.

A woman only gets ONE chance to dump a player.

One quality that makes the player so free and adventurous is his ability to think on his feet. With women, he has little concern for the future and even less for the past. When it comes to relationships, the player lives for TODAY. A man who lives for today is exciting to know because he has no inhibitions.

The reason people have inhibitions is because they’re outcome dependent. They worry how their actions today will affect them tomorrow. With women, a player isn’t worried about tomorrow because a player is not trying to “keep” a woman. He is there to enjoy her for as long as he can. Then move on.

Yesterday Is Gone

When it comes to established relationships, a lot of men get into trouble worrying about the past. They stay in toxic relationships because of some romantic memory they have of their girlfriend before she became a raging bitch. I wrote earlier about how emotional investment happens. Men keep viewing a woman based on how she was during the honeymoon stage of the relationship. You know…when she was trying to impress him. When she gets comfortable and turns on the bitchiness, he blames himself for her bad behavior. In a way it IS his fault. But not in the way he thinks. It’s his fault for allowing her to get comfortable. It’s not his fault she is a miserable toxic person.

It seems men make this mistake more often than women. I always say this because the majority of relationships are ended by the woman and not the man. This means women focus more on the present situation while men focus more on the “good times” from the PAST that are long gone and never returning.

As a man, you need to learn to judge women by their MOST RECENT BEHAVIOR. If she is acting like a bitch in 2013, it doesn’t matter if she was an angel in 2011 and couldn’t’ get enough sex from you in 2012. That was then and today is NOW. Live in the present!

You Have Legs So Use Them!

The most powerful weapon you have as a man is your ability to walk away. The reason it’s so powerful is because so few men do it. It just shows how horrible a woman has to be to shake a man without dumping him. Again, this is why players and alphas are the “heartbreakers” of the world. They are not afraid to walk away when they’re not happy. They ALWAYS put their own happiness first.

Beta males almost never abandon women so it’s easy for them to end up in abusive relationships with women who don’t respect them. They complain forever, drink their stress away and get into bar fights from the frustration their “woman problems” are causing them. They’ll do anything but LEAVE.

As a player, you should be the first to leave since you had no intention of staying. This is where your power comes from. You’re elusive and impossible to catch. Women’s imaginations run wild after meeting a true player. Their insecurity peaks when they are in the presence of a player. They can’t resist the danger. It makes them feel alive and excited.

If a player is painfully spicy and delicious food; a “nice guy” is bland white rice. Be the spice, not the rice!

One area where many men get in trouble is their willingness to play woman’s games. Modern men often forget that it is THEIR job as men to lead romantic relationships. When I say “lead” I mean to lay out the path and terms for which the relationship should continue. Too many men have given this job to the woman. For many modern men the only “terms” he sticks to are “look good and let me sleep with you”. Outside of that, the woman can behave however she wants.

A man with ridged terms and values that are carved in stone will always pass 100% of a woman’s “shit tests” because HE IS PLAYING HIS OWN GAME. What does this mean?

No Apologies

To be a true player, you have to have a frame of mind where a woman’s opinion of you is meaningless until she earns your respect. In order to earn your respect she must prove she has the strength to submit to a man. You see, while submitting to a man is a woman’s natural role, modern society has made this “unpopular” through feminism. Women are praised for being “independent, financially successful, career oriented and free from the need for male approval”. This is a very toxic lifestyle for a woman since it goes against her very nature.

Most women who take feminism to the extreme live shallow, miserable and bitter lives; even when they achieve worldly success. They are like cats trying to be dogs. The male version of this with “nice guys” has the same result. This is where the term AFC came from. Men who go against their nature as MEN and passively submit to the weaker sex rarely find happiness in relationships with women. A man ruled by a woman will never truly feel like a MAN because he won’t be. He will remain a child ruled by a mother.

A man must make NO APOLOGIES for his expectations and desires. Too many men are easily shamed by getting a rude, disgusted or nasty response from a woman. They are easily hurt by rejection and disapproval from women. The typical man can’t stand the idea of a woman being mad at him. He fears she will cut off the sex or lose interest in him. This is pathetic.  He is PLAYING HER GAME.

Who Is More Important?

This is where most men lose the power struggle. They make the woman’s happiness more important than their own.

When they meet new women, they are so focused on getting in her pants that they fail to lay down any ground rules. Again, his only terms are usually “look good and spread your legs”. Women already know men want sex from them, but if they sense weakness in a man, they’ll have no problem exploiting this desire for their own benefit.

This is where jumping through hoops comes in. Her attitude right out of the gate is “if you want this, WORK for it”. YET, the man doesn’t know exactly what he is working for. It’s like trying to buy a car you haven’t test driven and offering money with no guarantee of ever obtaining the car. Unless this car belonged to Michael Jordon and is being offered ridiculously cheap, what fool would enter such a crappy deal? Sadly, the majority of modern men would.

Here is the deal: Any time you do things you DON’T AGREE WITH for the sake of pleasing a woman, you are playing HER game and giving HER all the control. As a player, this is a fatal mistake. Playing a woman’s game leads to exploitation and being placed in the friend zone. It’s never a wise move.

The Solution

As simple as the solution is, most men don’t have the frame of mind or guts to do it.  As a man you should decide what you believe is fair treatment for a woman you want to bang and refuse to deviate from that EVER. No matter how mad she gets. No matter how much she screams, goes cold, threatens you or cuts off sex. A player can replace any woman, so why would he need to “change his approach” just for one? PLAY YOUR OWN GAME.

If you believe meeting a woman for happy hour after work and taking her home to have sex is all you need to do.. then that is all you should ever do. Never go on a second or third date because SHE wants to “wait” or “isn’t ready”. When you give into these requests you are basically communicating to her: “I value your happiness over my own”. Sounds sweet doesn’t it? Right out of a Disney movie right? That’s exactly why it’s a bad move. When you do this, you are automatically placed in the “beta male” category at best and the “chump” category at worst. You are cheap and easy. The woman knows she is in control. You have lost your upper hand before you even got it. Now you will be forced to jump through endless hoops for sex.

The secret to fast sex that alpha males and players have always known is : PLAY YOUR OWN GAME. Even sluts will avoid men they perceive as weak and desperate for sex. The big trick that most men miss is the proper TACTIC. A smart man will play a woman’s game with his WORDS while playing his own game with his ACTIONS. Otherwise, a woman fails to see how she can profit from sleeping with him. She must always believe she has something to gain, even if she doesn’t.

As a man, always have the balls to walk away from a woman who doesn’t behave how YOU believe she should. Live as you please 24/7 and refuse to cater to any woman who won’t let you take the lead. If a woman refuses to go along with your game, then she is not that into you. It’s much better and time/cost effective to let a difficult women go than to play HER game in order to win her over.

You can be a player or you can be a beta. Your choice men.

A big part of figuring out if a girl is easy to bang is getting an idea of her sexual history. Every man has their own standard, but for me the most sexual partners any non-slut woman should have is 7. To be relationship material she can’t sleep with more than 7 men. Also, this only applies to women 30 and over. If she is under 25 her limit should be 4. But any woman who has banged more than 7 men in her life is a slut. There might be some grey area with 8, but once you get to 9 you’re already brushing against the double digits.

The Logic Beyond 7

Why did I pick 7? Well, overall the number is based on my estimations about trial and error in a woman’s life, plus the maximum number of serious boyfriends she can pack into her youth.

Generally, non-slutty women pick men very carefully and usually commit to them for long periods of time (years). A typical non-slut probably has about two or three serious boyfriends before getting married. They have a long and careful screening process for men and don’t just jump on cocks after some sweet talking.

So you have to figure, by age 30 if she has had three serious boyfriends, plus about one or two men she slept with in her teens when she experienced her “first love” and first drunken rape in college. Then you add two more men who were “rebounds” to help her get over her first 2 serious boyfriends… that is about 7 men total. The 7th man should be her husband.

After 7 men she becomes a slut because she either:

1.    Doesn’t screen men very much before banging them
2.    Cheats on her boyfriends
3.    Cannot enslave a man with her personality, so she gives up sex fast

By age 30 a woman should be on or below number 7.  If she can’t make it work with the 7th man she has slept with, then she has a personality problem or a screening problem. She should really be married by her 3rd bang if not earlier. I’m being generous with 7 because cultural expectations have changed.

Now I’m not saying sluts are “bad”. In fact, I love them. Without sluts a player would rarely get laid. It’s just that sluts have a purpose and that purpose in NOT relationships.

Why Sluts Never Change

It’s a classic question: Can you turn a hoe into a housewife? The answer is NO and I’ll even go so far to say NEVER. Once a slut always a slut. As a man you should never attempt to have any kind of serious relationship with a slut. She is a strictly a sex toy. Are their exceptions? Probably.. but why take a chance with a woman who has seen more sausage than a deli?

Why don’t sluts change? It all comes down to the female mating strategy and a woman’s ability to bond. Unlike men, women are not mentally or emotionally designed for a life of casual sex. They are not designed to “spread their seed” like men are. Before birth control, any woman who engaged in casual sex would end up having kids with multiple men and more kids than she can support. Therefore, it was unwise for women to be “slutty”.

All women start out with the goal to find one good man and reproduce with him. It’s not even natural for her to want kids with different men because of the dangers. Men are not wired to be very accepting of another man’s kids. That would be an attack on his sexual value and his pride. Therefore, women typically look for ONE good man. If they reproduce with another man, they do everything in their power to keep those men in the dark about it (even today).

The biggest sluts started out with the same goal as the “good girls”. Only the good girls have the seduction skills, charm and attractiveness to enslave the man of her choice. Sluts usually lack one or all of those qualities… thus forcing them to overcompensate by lowing the price of sex. They know they can’t keep a man’s attention with their personality and looks alone so they offer sex in hopes of keeping the man around. Sometimes they even try to get pregnant. This is their logic.

It makes sense from the female point of view. What screws them is the male point of view. A man who gets sex too easily from a particular woman will assume ANY man can get sex easily from her. He won’t see her value so he won’t allow himself to be enslaved by her.  He can’t really trust her after all. Easy come.. easy go. Right?

Over time, this strategy causes a high cock-count for the slut. Before she knows it she has banged 20 men in her search for “love”. She doesn’t change her approach because the original approach of “holding out” has simply never worked for her. Sex is the only way for her to get steady attention from men.

The other problem with the slut is her high cock-count creates crippling insecurity. She believes every man will eventually abandon her and overtime she develops a fear of intimacy. Any man who gets “too close” freaks her out and makes her sabotage the relationship by cheating or dumping him. In short, the slut LOSES HER ABILITY TO BOND WITH A MAN OR TRUST A MAN.

Conclusion

Since women’s lives revolve around relationships, women cannot suffer failure in their love lives too many times before developing extremely low self-esteem. This is why you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife (if you didn’t already know why). After a woman loses her ability to bond with a man, she becomes a sex toy for life. Even in old age, any long term sexual relationship with her will be toxic because of her low self-esteem, insecurity and trust issues.

When women are young and attractive they want adventure. They want it in all forms: sexual, emotional, physical, etc. They have no patience for “nice guys” and “betas” during this time in their lives. They want to do the forbidden and the taboo. They want drama and emotional transformation, especially in their dating life. This is one reason they target men who are clearly “no good”. Since a player is by definition “no good” what do you think will happen when a young horny woman meets a player?

I’ve said this before and implied it a million times: No men do better with women than players and alpha males. But being an alpha male has a high price and I’ve already pointed out the down side. Players and womanizers excel because they are almost impossible for women to seduce. It’s really that simple.

The Easily Seduced Man Pays Big

Beta males and “nice guys” are easily seduced by women. This makes them easy targets for exploitation, friend zoning, and playing cannon fodder. Most nice guys and beta males come out of relationships with women emotionally damaged.

Women use seduction and sex to control men. Sex can only control men if some level of seduction takes place. Otherwise, every man would simply go after the easiest woman. The woman must charm the man then hold sex over his head. Players don’t fall for “charm” because they are charmers themselves. They don’t have the fairy tale dream in their head of women as “beautiful blameless princesses”. Players see women as they really are: horny, opportunistic, and manipulative (but lots of fun). The average nice guy or Beta simply can’t get this reality through his thick skull.

The result is women are less sexually attracted to beta males, BUT they find them more “useful” overall for emotional support, raising kids and of course BUYING SHIT. It’s the beta male that women see as a walking credit card and psychiatrist. He is the “keeper” who will be her willing slave for life at his own expense. His reward for this is sex at calculated times. This sex becomes less frequent as the relationship continues. Why? Because while women love a slave, they don’t respect one. The more a woman’s respect for a man degrades, the more she will find him sexually repulsive.

In short, the beta pays a HIGH price for what alphas and players get for FREE (and usually first). Think long and hard about that sentence until it sinks in.

The Difficult Man Wins

Players and alphas are very difficult men for women to deal with. This is part of what makes them so attractive: They make women WORK. This type of man creates a natural challenge for any woman who meets him.

Women like to believe that once they have a man’s sexual interest, they have some degree of control over that man. If this man has many sexual options, the woman will only work harder to make herself stand out. Most women can’t bare the idea that they are unattractive, especially to a man with many options. This is one reason the classic “talk to the ugly friend” trick works so well on women in groups. When you target the ugly girl in the group, it threatens the ego of the most attractive one.

Just like men love having sex with women, women love having power over men. The harder this power is to achieve, the more desirable the man. A man who can be enslaved by almost any woman doesn’t make a woman’s vagina tingle because she doesn’t feel special. I’ve discussed the female ego before. A woman’s ego is massive and a big part of her self-esteem comes from the control she has over men. A woman is not content if this control only comes from her looks (as it does with most beta males and nice guys). She is fully aware that her looks will fade one day. She needs to know she can control a man with her personality as well (seduction). Therefore, if she can attract a man with her looks, yet fails at enslaving him, it damages her ego.

This is why alpha males and players are the “heartbreakers” of the male gender. Not because they are bad people, but because they value their freedom more than they value women. This is something women can never understand, so they set out to enslave these men. When they fail, they become bitter and emotionally damaged. They end up settling for a beta male or “nice guy” who they can enslave easily, but they never really respect him. They control and abuse the beta male and in the worst cases, divorce him… taking his kids and money away from him. This is often punishment for not being her “dream man” and for all her past heartbreaks.

Conclusion

Players and alphas get the meat when it’s fresh. Once it starts getting stale they replace it with fresher meat. Beta males happily accept stale meat and in some cases rotten meat. Then they get upset when the meat makes them sick.

Player’s and alphas know meat has a shelf-life. It is only good for so long before you have to throw it away (read Relationship Material for clarification on female hypergamy). The beta male does not understand the “shelf life” concept. He will buy meat and keep it for years, believing its “good” no matter what. He believes “meat is meat”. He pays a high price for this belief.

Knowing how to identify easy women is a big part of being a good player. Even more important is knowing WHERE to find them. In my book The Lothario Boot Camp, I cover the best places to do day game for phone numbers. However, if you’re looking for a lightening quick “meet and bang” location, nothing beats the hotel bar. Here is why:

Easier Access

In the majority of situations where you meet new women, you’re going to have to game them for a little while before banging them. This is because night game is generally more difficult than day game and day game rarely leads to sex the same day (but it can).

Bars and clubs have girls in groups with cock-blocking friends and other men on the hunt who you’ll have to out-game. House parties have similar problems, unless you live at the house. The hotel bar is more likely to have a relaxed environment where a woman is alone or with only one friend.

Most importantly, being from “out of town” means she is less likely to play games. She knows anyone she meets will likely never cross paths with her again. Therefore, she will have a lower guard and fewer reservations about banging a random guy.

You Can Be Whoever You Want

A woman from out of town will probably never see you again. This means there are no limits to the level of game you can use. You can claim to be just about anyone you want. You can claim to have any occupation, name, hobby, connections, etc. How the hell will she ever know?

You can get away with lines like: “I can fly you out to California next week to see Johnny Depp in person”. Anything goes when you will never cross paths again. This is what I’m talking about with short term game vs. long term game. When seeking a relationship, you have to be more honest, which can lead to having to “settle” for less attractive women. When you have a “bang and run” player approach, you’re free to use any story or gaming tactic you wish with no real fear of damaging your reputation.

It’s Crazy Easy

Often these women (especially if traveling alone) are at the bar because they WANT to get banged, so most of the work is often done for you before you even approach. If you have good game in normal situations, hotel bar game should feel like shooting fish in a barrel.

As a player, you’ll just need to use your typical “slut game” only more classy. Hotels have a pretentious feel by nature, so it’s best to go with it. Don’t sit at the bar looking like you just came from a construction site. Dress well, smell good and seem educated. The rest should be easy.

From Bar To Bed

When using hotel bars to meet women for quick sex, its best you make it clear you are “only in town for the night”. Doesn’t matter if you live across the street from the hotel, you should tell your target you are catching a flight back home the next day. After giving her this information, proceed to flirt. If she responds well to your flirting, she is most likely looking to get pounded soon.

Ask her what she does for a living before telling her what you do. You don’t want to say: “I’m a lawyer” and hear her say: “Me too!!” Make sure you find out her job so you can pick a HIGHER status job that is different.

Since you’re not really staying at the hotel, you obviously won’t have a room there. Therefore, the only way to bang her is in her room. The best way to deal with this is to play her like a true player (what else would you do?). After taking a STRONG shot with her at the bar, invite her upstairs. At this point you should already be getting touchy-feeling with her and flirting hard. Pick a random floor in the elevator and say out loud:

“I’m on the [insert floor] which floor are you on?”

The reason you do this is to make sure she doesn’t say “meet too!”. If she says “Me too!” then immediately ask her which room. You’ll see why in a minute.

Now once you get off at this random floor, walk to a random door and start digging for your room key. Obviously you won’t have one because you’re not staying at the damn hotel. Now you say:

“Shit! I dropped my room key somewhere. Let’s just go to your room.”

If she is horny, a little drunk and ready to get railed (as she should be) there is NO reasons she would object to this. After all, she wants you inside her ASAP. No time to go downstairs and get a new key!

Proceed to her room and enjoy yourself.

Some Fast Tips

If you make hotel bar game a normal part of your pick-up schedule, make sure you don’t go to the same hotel several times a week. The staff will eventually notice you and realize what you’re up too. It’s best to allow at least a week to pass before going back to the same hotel. If you live in a large city (as I do) this should be easy.

Dress business casual so you look like you belong there and no one gets suspicious. Bring a business magazine or newspaper to look like you have “business” to do.

Don’t waste your time waiting around. If you sit at the bar just waiting for an attractive woman to show up, you’ll be bored out of your mind. Make sure you are actually in the mood for a drink or two and maybe a bar snack. Watch a little TV (most bars have them) and relax. If no women show up after 30-45 minutes, chat with the bartender and ask (if its a man) how often  attractive women generally frequent that hotel. Take note and return to the hotel in a week or two.

If the bartender is an ATTRACTIVE woman, game her. Say you are there because a friend recommended something on the menu. Tell her you live in town and ask for her number.

The biggest Achilles heel of the modern man is his desperate need to be in a relationship and/or start a family. Rather than living a life of freedom and adventure with little concern for serious relationships with women, he makes it his life goal to find a wife. This is the type of thinking that has granted women so much power in the modern world.

The average modern man wants a “relationship” more than the average modern woman these days (it seems). A lot of this is societal brain washing and female propaganda.  The media tries to scare men into believing they NEED a woman to be complete. This is one reason why men these days are often more devastated by a break-up than women. They have lost their “other half” (or so they believe). It’s a truly pathetic state of affairs.

How a Player Does “Relationships”

The media brainwashes men into desiring family and relationships above all else, while brainwashing women to desire money and status above all else. It’s no mistake. Remember that women are the biggest consumers of media and the biggest spenders (of both their own money and men’s money). Also, remember the golden rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules. If the media needs to promote the female agenda to make money, that’s exactly what it will do. Angry women are a bigger liability to a business than angry men.

Most men are too ignorant to realize the media is tailored towards women and girls, so they buy right into the brainwashing. This only makes it easier for women to use psychological fear to manipulate men in relationships. It all comes full circle.

As a player, you will still engage in relationships with women outside of casual sex. After all, finding a brand new woman to bang every time you crave sex can be exhausting and often unsuccessful. You will sometimes find yourself “bonding” with women and forming a “relationship” with them. And YES.. you can be in a relationship and keep your player status at the same time, provided you don’t commit 100%. You can read the reasons why no man should ever commit 100% here.

If you’re a man who prefers relationships over constantly banging new women, you’re going to need a good system for knowing which women are good for relationships. What makes a woman relationship material vs. just a sex toy? It’s all about deal breakers:

What Are Deal Breakers?

For a woman to be relationship material she needs to be capable of bonding with you on a deeper level than sex and superficial gain. This will only happen if you have the following things in common:

-The same values
-The same goals (financial, family, lifestyle, etc.)
-The same world view

In order for true bonding to take place, you both have to be on the same page and have common ground on those three issues. If you don’t have common ground on these issues then it’s best to stick to sex and keep your emotional distance indefinitely or until you have a good reason to do otherwise.

Now you might say: “But Rico, if I find a woman who I can bond with on those three key issues, why not marry her and commit to her 100%?”

The answer to that question is very short and simple: Because women are hypergamous. This means, women change constantly over time. Yes constantly. I discussed this in depth here.

A woman is basically a different person with different values every decade until menopause (as far as romantic relationships go). Sure, her outer personality might not change much, but what she expects and desires in a man will. What she needs from a man in her 20’s will be different from what she needs from a man in her 30’s and so on (it even changes from early 20’s to late 20’s and early 30’s to late 30’s). For this reason, no woman is worthy of total commitment and a man should expect any woman who is relationship material to only be so for about 5 years tops.

Now you might say: “But Rico, what about those couples who stay married for decades?”

The answer to that question is very simple: Insecurity (usually on the part of the man). These are usually relationships with deep emotional investment on the part of the man where he has too much to lose by leaving. The woman stays because she is mostly free to behave as she pleases, while enjoying the benefits of the best man she can attract. Her man is her slave. A good slave is hard to find.

Now you might say: “But Rico, why can’t it be the other way around? Why can’t the woman be the slave?”

The answer to that question is simple: Men by nature want variety and are not satisfied with just one woman. Men are not as relationship oriented as women are.  A man will get bored with a female slave and eventually crave variety. This is why kings had 20 wives. A man will move on to younger, more attractive women if he can. Men only commit emotionally when they are insecure (aka SLAVES).

Therefore, the man who makes family and marriage his ultimate goal in life is destined to fall into traps and spend his life as a slave in some form. He will gladly play the cannon fodder role for women at his own expense (after all.. women are his only reason for breathing).

The short answer is “No”. At least when it comes to women you’re dating or banging. The truth about arguing with women is it ends up making you look inferior. Let me explain why:

The Stronger Sex

As a man, you are still supposed to be the dominant one in the context of a sexual relationship. You are the leader, boss and superior.

Now picture an old school king with 20 wives. Can you imagine a man of such high status lowering himself to argue with one of his wives over.. well.. ANYTHING? If any of his wives dared to defy him or get “uppity” he would simply have her banished or beheaded. To argue with her would be to stoop to her lower level. A king ain’t got time for dat!

As a player you are in the modern version of the same situation. You have lots of women in your life that you bang. They exist for your pleasure and entertainment. If one of them starts becoming difficult, you simply shift your attention to one who is more pleasant and ignore the difficult one. Only desperate beta males waste their energy arguing with women.

Women Don’t Argue To Influence You

Most of the time women argue with men it’s a power move. They know (or assume) they can always “win the argument” simply by cutting off sex. Women use arguments to test a man’s dominance. She knows that she has dominace over any man who would lower himself enough to argue with her. Women instinctively KNOW that alpha males and men who are “better than them” don’t engage in petty back and forth fights for more than a few seconds.

So in a woman’s mind, if you are willing to argue with her, then she has power over you and is probably your equal or superior. Got it?

The Player Response

Here are some sample arguments women might try to start with you and the player / alpha response you should give:

HER: “Why are you always hanging out with your friends! You don’t spend enough time with me.”

YOU: “It’s not all about you babe. Don’t be high maintenance.”

HER: “You need to clean this place up! Why are you so lazy?”

YOU: “I pay the rent. Never tell me what to do”

HER: “You never listen when I talk!”

YOU: “What does that say about your learning curve if you keep talking anyway?”

HER: “I don’t like you having female friends. Why do you have to flirt with everything with a pulse?”

YOU: “If I wanted those girls I would be with them. Don’t bring this up again.”

HER: “Where have you been? Why did you ignore all my calls and texts??!!”

YOU: “I got tied up. Watch your tone.”  

HER: “I don’t like being treated like a whore. If you won’t commit then I can’t do this anymore.”

YOU: “I don’t have a gun to your head. You know where I stand.”

These responses probably seem harsh or mean. However, this is how a man who is “better than his woman” behaves. If you walk on eggshells, that means your woman is above you. It’s really that simple.

When these fights come up with women in your life, its best to keep your cool and refuse to let her drag you into her emotional tantrum. I give a real life example in my book The Lothario Upper Hand. Don’t lower yourself. Don’t go back and forth with her more than twice. Let her make her first attack. Respond to it. Let her make her second attack. Respond to it. If she continues rambling after that, tell her the conversation is over and she is wrong. That’s it.

Also, keep in mind that arguments are different from “discussions”. Having a discussion is fine. Once it gets heated and emotional it’s time to shut it down. Refuse to deal with a woman who does not behave in a civilized manner. Women should behave in a respectful, ladylike way with the man she is sleeping with. If she is unable to do that, she is not worthy of that man’s respect.

Men who continue to treat disrespectful women with respect are the men who get walked on. Always think of the king with 20 wives.

In modern society it’s often taboo to ask this question before taking action. But this is the FIRST question a woman asks herself before taking action in the dating world. Many women will straight up TELL a man what they expect. Examples:

“Are you going to buy me a drink?”

“It’s the man’s job to call”

“I deserve to be treated like a lady”

“I believe in chivalry”

There are many women who will boldly say these things to your face. Almost like a master/slave relationship. She can tell you what she wants and expects, but if you do the same most women will balk or argue. Funny how that works right?

The reason women can get away with all these “demands” is because most men today are desperate. They don’t discriminate when it comes to who they try to bang outside of looks. Whatever it takes to enter a woman’s hairy hole is what a man will do. No price too large. It’s the simple law of supply and demand. We can’t really blame the women entirely (even though many men do).

To put things in perspective.. just think about how much effort it takes woman to have sex with a man. All she has to do is lie on her back and open her legs. This is not difficult at all. In fact, it’s so easy that women should be willing to do it for no more than a compliment. But since finding a willing man is so easy, there is no reason for a woman to just hop on every cock she sees unless she stands to gain from it.

Learn To Discriminate

As a player, it’s your job to convince a woman that she has something to gain by opening her legs for you. This is accomplished by digging to find out what kind of woman you are dealing with. Once you have an idea, you can usually guess what she’s seeking in exchange for sex:

Gold digger = Money / Kids
Virgin = Deep emotional bond (usually)
Slut = Great sex (with someone sexy)
Single Mother = Support (and sometimes a father figure for their kid)
Whore = A relationship that provides connections, resources, status, bragging rights, etc.
Prude = Marriage

You get the idea. Obviously you won’t be able to sleep with ANY woman you want just because you have player skills. Generally, sluts and whores are your best bet for fast sex. A good player knows how to locate them and identify them fast.

This is another player secret many men are not aware of: Good “game” is less about being attractive to ALL women and more about being attractive to a target market of women. If sluts are your target, your entire image and game should be designed to attract them. Other men will see you getting laid like crazy and think women love you. But in reality, you just know how to identify and attract that “target market” of women very well. So you have a high success rate.

Most normal men don’t operate this way. Instead, they have an idea in their head of the type of woman they want to be with and they project those qualities onto ANY woman they find attractive. Then they put all their energy into banging that woman while ignoring who that woman really is. They often end up wasting their time on a woman who will never bang them (a prude for instance).

It’s very important to know what type of woman she is so you’ll know if your game will even work on her. Slut game will not work on a Gold digger. Virgin game will not work on a slut. Get the picture?

Remember that every woman you meet WANTS something. Make sure your game is designed to make her believe you have what she is seeking (even if you don’t).

I talk more about types of women and knowing your target in my book The Lothario Upper Hand.